Unbelief

help me

Part of what’s been holding me back is my just inability to really and truly BELIEVE that getting back in covenant with God (as far as my eating is concerned) is even possible.

I mean, y’all. I’ve tried and failed before noon.
{Weeks pass before I can get the courage up again.}

Then I tried again and made it a day – lost it at night after the kids went to bed when my weary soul was coupled with a midnight deadline for my grad class.
{And so I had to lick my wounds for a while before trying… again.}

So, lately, I’ve been able to make it like 5 or 6 days in a row but I always lose my focus, lose my way, lose my ability to even CARE. —By the way, when I say that I “make it for 5 or 6 days” I’m talking about not having a binge. For those of you just joining in… I have a serious binge eating issue. —

But each time it’s because a) I don’t read my Bible and really seek support from Him throughout the whole thing all day long, and b) I don’t really BELIEVE that it can happen again… I don’t really, truly BELIEVE that I can lose 80 pounds again like I did when I first started this whole “adventure”. Even though despite what God showed me yesterday

believe

that I just need to BELIEVE because I’ve already seen him do the work! So, what’s the issue? The issue is that I have this unbelief… and I DON’T KNOW HOW TO GET RID OF IT!

So, I don’t really have an answer per se, but I do I have a prayer-verse for us to get us moving and thinking and praying in the right direction…

Jesus. I’m a mess. A hot mess. A messy mess of a mess. And dang it… You love me. You do. I know it. I feel it. And so it is because I know that you love me that I ask you… help me. Help me overcome my unbelief. Help me overcome it, Jesus. Anyhow… anyway. Help me overcome my unbelief. Oh my wonderful Jesus. How I love you. Amen.”

 

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Comments

  1. Annette says

    I think my unbelief is at the core of why I overeat too. I get so frustrated with myself. At the same time, I realize I’m trying to do it all in my own power. My unbelief is that I don’t think He is powerful enough to heal me. But this is a joint effort. He can heal me, but I have to walk away from that next bite. I have to take that first step. Then, if I do walk away, I have to listen to what he says so I may receive healing. This is a tall order!

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  1. […] word. I’ve been trying to write each day about a word from the Word (see what I did there?!?!). Yesterday, my focus was on “help me overcome my unbelief” and so then I started to really zone in on that […]

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