Day 533: Easy Breezy

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Ready for another “I’m not really all that cool” confession. I already told y’all that I’m not super athletic and I’m finally okay with that. And now I’m here to tell you that I don’t really want to climb mountains, or mountain bike through forests, or go skydiving.

My idea of fun, or shall I say, my idea of “enjoyment” is… relaxing.

Bring on a sandy beach or lapping lake, a reclining chair, waves crashing, a book… and I’m set. I could literally do that every day of my life. (Well, theoretically… cause the closest I ever got to that life was in Costa Rica. And that’s been a looooooooong time ago. I threw in a pic of me above at my recent 24-hour get away for my 9th anniversary to a local lake. All we did was chill and relax.)

So, when I hear this in scripture…

Only in returning to me and waiting will you be saved. Quietness and confidence is your strength. Isaiah 30:15

That God WANTS me to be chill. He WANTS me to relax. He WANTS me to just wait for Him. He WANTS me to be quiet.

Well, I get pretty happy.

Cause I like being told “slow down. wait. chill out.”

And if I can just remember that in my food journey, then things will be so much better.

God is working in me. on me. through me.

I just need to sit back, follow His lead, and enjoy the rest.

PRAYER:

Lord God, you are so good to take care of me. As much as I try to weasel my way into being a part of it all… you always seem to just take care of everything.

Help me to calm down and just… WAIT. Help me to quiet my soul and be confident that You will save me. Help me to return to You when I run away.

Thank you for Your forgiveness that makes me WANT to return to You. Thank you for the hope you give me. You are my ALL.

Amen.

Day 441: The Post Where I Don’t Tell You What God Said

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I’ve written about 47 beginnings to this post. (See? Up there? My journal… it’s like a gazillion starts and stops. And that is just ONE.PAGE. of it!)

Cause I wanted you to know… it’s not an ordinary post.

It’s not about being witty.
It’s not about a great recipe.
It’s not about anything average.

It’s about coming to grips with God.

It’s about letting Him come to grips with my food issues.

It’s about giving up sugar again. For a long, long time.

I went on a retreat for moms this past weekend, and whereas I have gone on this retreat twice before for the purpose of relaxing and getting away, this time I went because I needed to meet with Jesus. I needed God to show up and direct me. I needed Him.

So that’s what I prayed when I went out there… “God. Please. I have been waiting and waiting for You to show up in my life. I have been trying to wait patiently. Please, speak to me this weekend. Show up this weekend. In a burning bush. In fire from heaven. In a passing whisper. In a wind. In a cloud by night or fire by day. In the body of Your Son Jesus. Whatever the form, I’m ready to hear from You. Please speak to me.

And, He did.

But, not about what I wanted to talk about.

I wanted Him to speak to me and guide me about going back to work in the fall. I really felt completely pulled in two directions about it since we, like most families, could use the money and I’m a pretty dern good teacher and He might want to use me there, but at the same time, I really wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom and work on writing more. And I just wanted Him to show me which option HE wanted. I really, truly wanted to be wherever He would receive the most glory!

But He wanted to talk about sugar.

Ha! I know, that sounds funny. I wanted to talk His Glory and he wanted to talk about my sugar. Backwards isn’t it????

Nope. Not at all.

He wanted to talk about sugar because it was becoming a wedge between He and I again. And it wouldn’t matter if He led me towards working or writing, if there is a stronghold that strong in my life, I was gonna have a hard time allowing His Glory to shine through me. So, we talked about sugar.

And honestly, it’s gonna have to be a couple of posts to get out everything that He worked through on me. And I’m actually not even gonna tell you in this post what He said about sugar, because I want to remind you of something even more important.

He. will. answer.

If you wait. If you keep asking. If you keep your eyes focused on Him. If you ask for things that please Him.

He. will. answer.

We are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for. 1 John 5:14-15

It is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. Hebrews 11:6

And the verse I want you to really, really, reallllllly hear:

Wait for the Lord. Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14

Day 319: Half-Car Garage

A couple of days ago my husband and I set out to clean the garage. My mom offered to watch the boys all day (thanks to my request on Day 303: Zero Car Garage!) so that we could really “git ‘er done” as we like to say here in Texas.

And look at me here… so optimistic.

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We got a goin’ right after I got back from dropping the boys off around 9:30. And we sorted and cleaned and purged. And sorted some more and cleaned some more and purged some more. I just knew we were gonna get that garage in ship-shape condition.

We ran a trip to Goodwill, then to the ReStore (a Habitat for Humanity resale store), and got some lunch. And when we got back and I saw the mounds that were yet to be touched, I started to feel a little doubt creeping in that it might not be possible to clean out an entire garage in 8 hours. A garage, mind you, that had not been sorted, cleaned, or purged in about 5 years.

But I was just so determined to finish that I plugged on ahead. I only had a limited amount of time to finish… so it simply HAD to get done.

No excuses. Play like a champion.

… … …

Yeah. We didn’t get it done.

And I was really pretty disappointed. As I hooked back in the kids’ car seats to go pick them up, my husband kept trying to remind me that we had done A LOT. And he was right. He was. But, it wasn’t DONE.

And I drove off feeling semi-accomplished and semi-failure.

{And how does this relate to the covenant???}

Oh yes. Well, as I drove off I was like, “Why am I disappointed? We did so much work! …… But we didn’t finish. And I really thought we’d finish. I dunno maybe cleaning out the garage in one day was an unrealistic expectation.”

Bam.

That was it. Unrealistic expectation. And I immediately started thinking about a mental conversation I’d had with myself earlier that day about how I was a little bummed that I was going to have to keep in the covenant for another year. I’d sorta started feeling like within this year I should have been all healed of my obsession, a size six, have my blog written into a book, and all of that with a nice little bow on top.

But. It was an unrealistic expectation.

Or maybe it’s more so that it was a undivine expectation instead of looking for God’s divine timing.

Cause again and again I am reminded…

    “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord . “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9

And I also came across this verse:

    This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed. “Look at the proud! They trust in themselves, and their lives are crooked. But the righteous will live by their faithfulness to God.

Habbakuk 2:3-4

I added in verse 4 as well… because it is like the opposite of waiting patiently. Trusting in myself… had all of those things happened in MY timing, I might have trusted in myself. I might have thought that I was the one that made it all happen. Even if it was just a tiny seed in my heart… we all know how dangerous a tiny seed can be.

So, now I’m glad that my covenant has not reached its fulfillment yet. I’m glad to have a chance to be a righteous one and live by faithfulness to God.

But the garage… well, I wish that HAD been finished in MY timing. Haha!

Day 124: All Good

So, I just started this whole no bread and no chips “addition” to the covenant, and I thought that I’d talk about the first time the new rule made an issue… or was a learning moment for me.

Even though I posted about modifying the covenant a few days ago, it was actually on Sunday that I had the “revelation”… or at least that was the day that I made the decision. Well, my first thought was, “Oh, well, we are going to Texas Roadhouse for my brother’s dinner tonight and they have some wicked awesome rolls, so I think that I will wait until tomorrow to start the whole ” no bread” thing.”

And, thanks to the renewing… or at least to the process of renewing since I am by no means completely renewed yet… I immediately had the thought: “Oh, Come on, January! This is a deal with God. There is no waiting to follow the call of GOD ALMIGHTY just because you’d like to eat some BREAD at a restaurant!?!?!”

And I am reminded of Jonah… he very clearly heard the Word of God, and then… he did the opposite. Because that is what Jonah wanted to do. Just like me, I wanted to go out and eat bread even though I had clearly heard God tell me to do the opposite.

One day the Lord told Jonah, the son of Amittai, to go to the great city of Nineveh and say to the people, “The Lord has seen your terrible sins. You are doomed!” Instead, Jonah ran from the Lord. Jonah 1:1-3

Lucky for me, I have people like Jonah in the bible who didn’t listen to God… so I get to see that things don’t turn out so hot for those who disobey God and then I don’t have to make the same mistake. (Although, golly, how many times do I pull a “Jonah” and do the wrong thing anyway???) But, for once, and thanks to the renewing of my mind that has been going on for the past, ohhhhhhh, 123 days… I was able to make the right decision.

And there was one point at dinner when there was one roll left and my brother said, “Hey Jan, do you want that?” And I was able to say, “Nah, I’m all good.”

And I am…

…all good.

Thanks to God, I am alllllllllll gooooooood.