Day 667: Making Room

I am going through a lot of my old posts to make sure that my links made it through the transition from my .wordpress site to this new .com site and I thought it would be cool to “repost” a post from the old days when I first started writing. Kind of a great way to look back and see where I have been and how it relates to where I am going.

I loved this one because a) It just shows how great my hubs is, and b) It reminded me of how people might not see this as an addiction, but for those of us going through it… we KNOW that it is, and most importantly c) It reminds us all that Satan has already lost this battle. Really take a look at the last paragraph though to remember how a Daniel Fast/Daniel Plan can help make room for that victory in your life.

Day Three: Resistance On The Home Front

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So… I’ll admit that I didn’t exactly tell my husband I was planning on doing this. He sorta found out by reading my Facebook post about it. Yeah, I know… I know… a fail on my part. We were lying in bed and I was drifting off to sleep when the following conversation went down:

Hubby: [reading his Facebook on his phone] What? You’re doing a year long Daniel fast? Hmmmmmmm, not sure how I feel about that.

Me: silence

Hubby: Why? You know you can just cut 500 calories a day out of your diet and lose weight. I’m not sure I feel comfortable with this… I don’t want you starving yourself or being hungry: it could affect your ability to think. Hon, I think there are other ways for you to lose weight and maybe something less extreme.

[Side note: this might make him appear unsupportive, but really it was all out of concern for me... when my blood sugar gets low I get really loopy.... annnnnnnd a leetle moody, and he knows that. And he wasn't saying this in a jerk tone either... it was really a sweet voice. Okay... just thought y'all should know that! haha]

Me: Well, I’m not really doing this to lose weight.

Hubby: How do you mean?

Me: I am not doing this to lose weight. I mean, I’m sure that I will lose weight but that’s not what it’s about. Hon… I’m addicted to food. I think about it all the time. I want it all the time. I sneak it all the time. I need to be free of it. I’m a captive and I’ve tried a bazillion “normal and average” things to rid myself of this addiction and none of them have worked. I can see how this might appear extreme and I agree that it is, but since normal isn’t working… I’m going to have to turn to extreme. I need to be free.

Hubby: Ohhhhh, okay… I get that. Okay. And remember: you have already won the victory. Christ has won the victory for you. You don’t even need to fight, all you have to do is accept his victory. Cause needing to be free… I get that.

Me: Thanks for being concerned for me and thanks for understanding me needing to do this. I promise to take care of myself and make sure that I am getting what I need.

I posted this because I wanted to remember the conversation… it was a good conversation and I was really impressed with the way that my husband responded in the long run.

I posted this to point out that not everyone will understand this kind of thinking. That this is not about a diet but about breaking the chains of an addiction that isn’t really commonly thought of as an addiction: most people think fat people are just lazy both physically and mentally and although I’ m not saying that there aren’t those types of people out there, I think a good many of us simply have accidentally fallen into this trap of gluttony and it’s too late to get out easily.

And I posted this to remember that I have already won the victory through Christ. This Satan guy… yeah, already defeated. The ability to conquer this addiction… yeah, already complete. What this fast is enabling me to do though is to allow that victory room to flow through my heart, soul, and mind and take over. It’s not that the victory hasn’t been won… it’s that for some reason food has the overwhelming power to create such a fog that I can’t see that victory.

But no longer! Cause here comes the Son… burning that fog away!

{And I just had to post this cutie pic of me and my hubs!}

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Day 411: My House Has Been Bugged

Seriously.

Bugged. All over the place.

We haven’t been able to escape the bugs. None of us.

And it’s been messy.

And honestly, at this point, I think I’d prefer a governmental bug tap over this bug.

The stomach bug.

{Dummmmmm dum dum dummmmmm!}

My toddler picked it up somewhere… at McDonald’s, at church last Wednesday, or even possibly the Albertson’s shopping cart. And then he passed it on to me, and one of us passed it on to my husband, and one of us passed it on to my preschooler.

And I’ll tell ya what, one way to put food in its place real quick is to have a stomach bug. And this one’s been a doozie. (Yeah, I just said doozie.) You spend four days, at least, just wanting to avoid food. It’s like my entire life’s focus is flipped to its polar opposite during those four days. My husband made the boys eggs the morning that I came down with it and just the smell of the eggs was enough to make me nauseous! {But props to him for taking care of the boys… he didn’t have it yet and was trying to keep the house afloat!}

I was so hungry yesterday evening after one day of eating nothing and another day of only saltines and Gatorade… that I jumped the gun and ate a baked potato.

Okay, okay. A baked potato with sour cream.

And butter.

And cheese.

The whole. thing.

Not half. Not one devoid of those additions too-fat for my extremely sensitive tummy. Not one that might get somewhat close to following the BRAT Recovery Diet. Nope. The whole thing. Pretty much loaded.

WHY?

(I ask that question a lot don’t I?)

Because these gluttonous tendencies just POP up out of nowhere when I least expect them. I mean… I ate that sucker like a woman starved. I guess I was… literally… starved at that point. But it was like my mind, my renewal, my restraint just went out the window and I wasn’t even thinking! I was just EATING.

BUT. I learned my lesson! This is a great, great thing! I didn’t try to eat a freaking pop tart or something this morning… I ate a banana. And for lunch I ate chicken and rice soup (yes, yes, I know that I’m a vegetarian, but we are a little low on stockpiles for sickie people, so I went with what was best out of my options). And for dinner, I made rice for me to eat! And I EVEN stopped eating when I got too full!

It is a small triumph, but hey… I’ll take it!

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This last week in my Beth Moore study over The Patriarchs, she was discussing Tests and Triumphs and she talked about how sometimes you can just read his Word, learn what God wants to teach you, apply it and never need to “leave the classroom”. And sometimes you simply “don’t get it” being just in the classroom and so God has to take you on a little “field trip.” Well, this year has been a mix of those two things. Somedays I learn it from The Word, and some days I have to take a field trip down to the ol’ Gluttony Community Center to get myself turned around. But I get encouraged when my mandatory field trips are shorter and shorter. Instead of me trying to eat too much again today, I went back to my normal ol self! It was a pretty short field trip!

You see… God is good. As much as I try to do it my own way, He is good. He always pulls me back to teach me The Way. And when The Way heals me, soothes me, redirects me, then He has Glory. And He Has Victory.

And that might {might} just make it worth having the stomach bug in the long run.

The Lord is my strength and my song; he has given me victory…The strong right arm of the Lord is raised in triumph. The strong right arm of the Lord has done glorious things! Psalm 118:14,16

Day 333: Sing A New Song

The number 333 is one of our family’s favorite numbers… it’s because of Psalm 33:3…

Sing to him a new song; play skillfully, and shout for joy.Psalm 33:3

That’s the verse that helped inspire my husband to invent Chord Dice (which helps people to write a new song). And then God started to just… use those numbers to communicate His Love to us.

I know I referenced it earlier in another post about how He made that be the time that our dice were delivered for Chord Dice. That night my husband and I sat at Rick’s Chophouse having a date night and we cried with joy… not because the hope of this investment. not because of my husband’s dream. we cried because of the raw knowledge that God. loves. us.

He, in all His Greatness, reached out and arranged the cosmos so that those dice were delivered and scanned exactly at 3:33. For us. Little, puny, relatively insignificant… us. It was overwhelming to be “spoken to” so directly.

And now every time I see the time 3:33 or the number 33 or 333 anywhere it serves to automatically remind me that God loves me. And sometimes that reminder can be the thing to support me and redirect me and encourage me.

When I know that Someone loves me so purely. so perfectly. so completely. and so wholly. Well, it empowers me to do… right.

When I want to eat some chips, I can know that God loves me. And they lose their pull (at least a bit)! And when I give-in and eat the dadgum chips, I can know then too that God loves me. And I can hope that the next time those chips call my name that I will tap into that love.

Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.” )

No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:35-39