New addendum to my covenant: I’m not going to weigh myself anymore. Not until January 1, 2013. That process has got or be just as bad for me as chocolate.
When I weigh myself I have two responses:
1. Elation- if I lose as much as I hope or want then I’m so excited. And then there are two more responses that stem from this:
• motivation- I get all pumped and do great for a few days “watching” what I eat.
• overconfidence- I get so pumped that I feel like I don’t need to pay so much attention and I might let a few things “slip” in my diet cause I’m doing such a great job.
2. Depression- if I don’t lose as much as I want or hope then I feel bad about myself. I allow it to affect the way I view myself, and that, in turn, causes me to respond almost the same way:
• motivation- I get all bummed out and do great for a few days “watching” what I eat so that I won’t feel bad again the next time.
• underconfidence- I get so depressed that I didn’t do well enough and feel like I might as well give up.
And this is the kind of thing that I have done time and time again on diets. And I don’t want to diet anymore.
You see, each of those responses are… just that. Responses. I don’t want to respond to my weight. I don’t want to care about my weight. I only want to retrain my mind to make decisions based on what will glorify God. What will please Him.
And since I have been weighing, my mind is focused on my weight. On what that scale says. Not on the things of God. Not on His renewal of my heart and mind.
So, no more weighing in and no more being weighed down!