Day 849: Let’s Make A Deal

Last night I got really… sad. Like, “I’m fat” sad. And then I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking “I’m fat. and undesirable. and ugly. and worthless. and lazy. and undisciplined. and… and… and…”

So, what did I do?

I looked up pics of skinny-me on my facebook page.

Yeahhhhhhhhhh, that was NOT the best idea I’ve ever had. And I can guarantee you that it didn’t make me feel any better. Cause all I did was start to say the same things to myself over and over again… and there was the proof!

See, January!?!?! See??? You used to be so skinny! Even when you thought you still had weight to lose you were perfect! You looked great! But you blew it all, didn’t you? You just ruined it. And now you are fat again and stuck in the same boat you were when you started this whole thing. Way to go.

Admittedly there was a little part of me that retorted, “But you did it once, you could do it again. Go to God. See what He has to say.”

Yeah, I didn’t listen to that part of me. Ya know… the part of me that knows what she’s talking about? I should have gone to God. I should have spent that time searching His Words for the things that are true of me. The things that speak to His Power in my life. The words that address His unfailing and constant Love for me.

But I didn’t.

So.

Let’s make a deal. Next time. Next time that secret sad part of us starts to spout off this DARKNESS into our hearts…

Let’s fight back with LIGHT!

Come back to this post if you need to… cause here are a few things he says about you:

  • I am completeIn Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body.  So, I am also complete through my union with Christ who is the head over every ruler and authority. Colossians 2:9-10
  • I am lovedCan anything ever separate me from Christ’s love?  Does it mean he no longer loves me if I have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?  (As the Scriptures say, ‘For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep’) No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is mine through Christ, who loved me.  And I am convincned that nothing can ever separate me from God’s love.  Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither my fears for today nor my worries about tomorrow–not even the powers of hell can separate me from God’s love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below–indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate me from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:35-39
  • I am a work in progressI am certain that God, who began the good work within me, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Philippians 1:6
  • I am strongI can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
  • I am a masterpiece. I am God’s masterpiece.  He has created me anew in Christ Jesus, so I can do the good things he planned for me long ago. Ephesians 2:10
  • I am worth a lotGod bought me with a high price.  I must honor God with my body. 1 Corinthians 6:20
  • I am chosen by Him. Since God chose me to be a holy person he loves, I must clothe myself with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Colossians 3:12
  • I am guarded and celebratedFor the Lord my God is living among me.  He is a mighty savior.  He will take delight in me with gladness.  With his love, he will calm all my fears.  He will rejoice over me with joyful songs. Zephaniah 3:17

 

Day 471: An Inconvenient Truth

Hate to break it to ya. But this is not a commentary on Al Gore or his favorite topic.

Although most of you are probably relieved… I think it’s had its fair share of opinion-slinging!

But I am gonna talk about something almost equally “crunchy”.

Processed food.

Oh. I hear you. You’re thinking “I can just ignore this post. There have been, what, 8 billion posts about it.”

And there have been, well, maybe not 8 billion, but quite a lot of them. Like I mentioned on Day 466: Hungry, Hungry Hippie, cutting our processed food is just so trendy right now. But with good reasons (if you would like a decent and quick to read list of why to cut it then read here).

Honestly, I don’t know what’s good and bad for me. And anymore, I don’t know who to “trust” about it.

But I do know WHO to TRUST for WISDOM about everything. And that would be God.

And well, my common sense “wisdom” tells me that processed food is too far from the original source to be AS good for me as REAL food.

So, that’s why I’m switching.

Well, that and because they call Velveeta a loaf of cheese.

Seriously?!?! A LOAF?!?!

That’s just… ewww.

But, well, it IS like a loaf. Or maybe even better put… a brick.

So, part of my goal with eating right is to eat things that are as close to the original state God put them in as often as possible. {And just writing that was a good reminder for me!} For example, if I can have an apple or a granola bar… then the apple is closer to the state that God made it, so I should choose to eat that. {And I say “should” because, like I said, this whole paragraph is a good reminder for me!} So, the way I see it is this:

fruits and veggies grown in my backyard = ideal, Garden of Eden type life
fruits and veggies = per dern close to original
homemade granola bars and meals = pretty close, I’ve just mixed them up with all “original” ingredients
processed food = farthest… uses some original ingredients and some stuff that is just entirely man-made

But here’s the deal. Pretty much every option up there except for the processed food is… inconvenient!

Having a garden? SUPER inconvenient… especially when you’re like me and kill plants simply by looking at them!
Eating raw fruits and veggies… you always have to be going to the store to replenish because you can’t stock them up in the pantry. Mildly inconvenient.
Making homemade/from scratch meals… oh my. This involves a lot of cooking which means a lot of time. And a LOT of thinking ahead… you know, like planning. And ya gotta be on the ball with shopping. Yep… inconvenient.
Using processed stuff from the pantry… sooooooooooooo easssssssssssssy. Can you say con.ven.ient.?!?!?!?

So, I’ve got the truth of God’s wisdom, but it is inconvenient (hence, An Inconvenient Truth… eh? eh? I know, I’m so terribly clever!)

But just yesterday I came across a meme with a quote by CS Lewis about Christianity and I think that it kind of sums up what I’m going through…

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Cause this is not about being comfortable. This is about glorifying God, a verse that I also came across on Day 469: Inspirational Instagram while going back through my YouVersion bookmarks:

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

So, even though I might try to make homemade mac and cheese and it turns out to be essentially cheesy gravy (NAS.TAY.), I’m going to try again and again and again (or just abandon the entire idea of mac and cheese completely if necessary) because this is about honoring and glorifying God through my body.

And well, it may be cumbersome and time-consuming, but ya know… I’m pretty sure that Jesus dying on the cross wasn’t exactly “convenient” for him. So, maybe, I can step a little out of my convenience zone here and there for Him.

It’s not like eating natural foods is the same thing as taking a cross up on my shoulders and walking to calgary to die. But, well, I think it is sorta what He means when he says…

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Day 304: Fauxfat

I’m getting in touch with the Shakespeare-within.

Although I will admit that I looked up the word “fauxfat” just to double check if it was real or not! Ha! Nope, it is my word!

fauxfat: noun. the areas on the body that appear too big (when mentally compared to air-brushed pictures of anorexic models) that cause a person to think they are really and truly fat but in truth are not: The beautiful woman looked in the mirror and saw nothing but her fauxfat.

I’m sure you can’t tell where this is going… but in essence, I was looking at myself in the mirror the other day and I was like, “Man, a month ago I was all pumped about the way my bod looked and today I look at it am a little disappointed.”

Now I’m honestly not sure what has changed in my mind. Although, truth be told, my body might be a little bit bigger than it was a month ago. I’ve been discussing about some of the struggles I’ve been waking through with temptations and not wanting to eat fruits or veggies. But I think, like, three days ago I was looking in the mirror thinking “Girl, you looking gooooood.” So, regardless of what my body really does look like, it was a mental thing this time.

The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. You judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at your heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

And I know this to be true. I know it. Why do I keep denying its truth???

I’ve actually learned it first and foremost from my friend Alice… she’s a skinny girl and likes to eat healthy (seriously, what is that about???? Hehe). But she also had issues with giving food the wrong place in her life. I may have “judged” her from the outside as having it all together, but her heart was having issues with food. And there is another girl at church that also looks like a model and a couple of weeks ago she was talking about her issues with sugar.

So, I know the heart is our true “image”, but how do I remind myself of that?

I think I need to just inundate myself with whatever scripture reminds me of truth. Maybe just for a few days and then find another because after a few days it starts to either seep in or just become “background noise” in my house.

Like, I’m going to write it on my mirror with a vis a vis marker. Put it on a random cabinet door in my kitchen (cause I know that I’ll ignore it if I out it on the fridge). Schedule in reminders on my phone calendar for random times during the day.

And maybe I can start to remember that I was made in His Image. And the only “fat” that matters is the excess of worldliness on my heart.

Guidance: What else can I do to help write a scripture on the tablet of my heart?

Day 299: Holy Honeymoon Hours

More than any verse that has to deal with spending time with God, I am really drawn to the ACTIONS of my Christ:

“Before day break the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray.” Mark 1:35

He had been casting out flippin DEMONS and HEALING people for crying out loud… but He got his rear out of bed and found that peaceful place of solitude to pray.

As a stay-at-home mom (and even more so when I was a working mom) finding a time of the day for solitude is nigh impossible. And even when I do find a time for that, my mind is so full of to-do lists and grocery lists and that mental list that is always running of all the ways I am inadequate… it is hard work to make room for a Word from the Spirit, and so I get less out of it because I spend so much time clearing my mind that I have less time to absorb His Truth, His Hope, His Mercy. But in the morning… His mercies are new and fresh and my mind is “empty” and open and relatively free from the cares of the day.

It’s almost like the holy honeymoon hours of the day… like, in marriage before you have learned all those strange idiosyncrasies and seen what your spouse is REALLY like… and there is just… love. In the morning, you have yet to see all the tiny nuances in the day of earthly things. You have yet to see your hopes for the day crushed by a four-year-old with the stomach flu or realizing that you are out of the eggs that you need for that breakfast casserole you are to take to bible study, or that the drier has dried its last towel and ain’t no Maytag man gonna be able to revive it.

There is only… Faith. Hope. Love. And those things are just about the best things to start the day off with.

Day 156: Label Maker

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Last night I was talking to my friend… hmmmmm, not sure that I have mentioned her yet so I need to make up her code name… my friend… my friend…well, I’m going to actually put a bit of thought into her name, let’s call her Ananya (Ana for short) because that name means “unique” and/or “energy”… and she is certainly both of those things!!!

Anyway, after quite a lot of conversation we discovered that her covenant needs were less about WHAT she is eating and more about HOW she is thinking! It was a fascinating discussion that was worth bumping my previously half-drafted post back a few days. As Ana talked, we realized that she was constantly filling her mind and soul with horrible, horrible “self-talk” that was destroying her soul and subsequently hurting her body. (You don’t have to be a hippie to know that the mind-body relationship that God has put within us is a complicated and yet extremely powerful thing!)

So, we came up with a plan for her that I think was nothing short of brilliant and entirely going to be a blessing from God. In fact, I think that I’m going to do it for the next five days as well just to see what comes up!

Like most people might need to journal their foods for a few days to come face to face with either how much they are eating (having to force yourself to write down that you ate 5 cupcakes or 3 servings of mashed potatoes or whatever is a great way to realize that you might just be eating more than you realized) but also to face up with what they are eating (like I was completely unaware that I was eating the edges of my son’s peanut butter and honey sandwiches… because I had been eating them for so long I didn’t even realize it)! But since Ana is already a pretty healthy eater, but apparently a pretty UNhealthy self-speaker, she is going to do a variation of that. Ana is going to journal her thoughts all day. Every time she has a negative thought “My belly is a ginormous lump of fat” or “Look at all this cellulite… ugh where did it come from?” or “Even if I do eat this healthy banana I’m still going to get fat” etc… then she is to write it down and then replace that thought with a truth from the Word of God.

Even though there are a lot of good, positive quotes out there that could help, I really encouraged Ana to stick to the Word of God to replace those thoughts… because it will take all the pressure, all the work, all the success or failure off of her. After all, it is God who gives us the ability to succeed!

And I thought this might come in handy (Ana, I was going to email it to you but I figured we could all use it)… I got these verses from a list in the study Me, Myself, and Lies (which is an AWESOME study) and then I transferred them into first-person because they just seem to grab my heart more when I do that… Jennifer Rothchild called them “Truthful Labels” and I thought that was so accurate… God is the one that speaks the truth to us, and I, by all means, want HIM to be the one that labels me (instead of me, the world, and certainly NOT the devil)! He is my true Label Maker!

THE TRUTHFUL LABELS GIVEN TO ME BY GOD

  1. I belong to Christ, and so I’ve become a new person. My old life is gone; my new life has begun! 2 Corinthians 5:17
  2. He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased my freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave my sins. He has showered his kindness on me, along with all wisdom and understanding. Ephesians 1:7-8
  3. God has not given me a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7
  4. I didn’t choose Jesus… Jesus chose me. He appointed me to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give me whatever I ask for, using the name of Jesus. John 15:16
  5. In Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. So, I am also complete through my union with Christ who is the head over every ruler and authority. Colossians 2:9-10
  6. If God is for me, who can ever be against me? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for me, won’t he also give me everything else? Who dares accuse me whom God has chosen as his own? No one! For God himself has given me right standing with himself. Who then will condemn me? No one! For Christ Jesus died for me and was raised to life for me, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for me. Can anything ever separate me from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves me if I have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the Scriptures say, ‘For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep’) No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is mine through Christ, who loved me. And I am convincned that nothing can ever separate me from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither my fears for today nor my worries about tomorrow–not even the powers of hell can separate me from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below–indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate me from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:31-39
  7. I am certain that God, who began the good work within me, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Philippians 1:6
  8. Now, I am free from my slavery to sin, and I have become a slave to righteous living. Romans 6:18
  9. So now there is no condemnation for me who belongs to Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1
  10. I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
  11. Even though I was dead because of my sins, he gave me life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that I have been saved!) Ephesians 2:5
  12. I am God’s masterpiece. He has created me anew in Christ Jesus, so I can do the good things he planned for me long ago. Ephesians 2:10
  13. Now, I can come to the Father through the same Holy Spirit as everyone else because of what Christ has done for me. Ephesians 2:18
  14. Since I have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let me hold firmly to what I believe. This High Priest of mine understands my weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings I do, yet he did not sin. So let me come boldly to the throne of my gracious God. There I will receive his mercy, and I will find grace to help me when I need it most. Hebrews 4:14-16
  15. I died to this life, and my real life is hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:3
  16. God bought me with a high price. I must honor God with my body. 1 Corinthians 6:20
  17. See how very much my Father loves me, for he calls me his child, and that is what I am! 1 Corinthians 6:20
  18. But the people who belong to this world don’t recognize that I am God’s child because they don’t know him. I am already God’s child, but he has not yet shown me what I will be like when Christ appears. But I do know that I will be like him, for I will see him as he really is. 1 John 3:1-2
  19. So now I, as a Gentile, am no longer a stranger and foreigner. I am a citizen along with all of God’s holy people. I am a member of God’s family. Ephesians 2:19
  20. I am a chosen person. I am a royal priest, part of a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, I can show others the goodness of God, for he called me out of the darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9-10
  21. Since God chose me to be a holy person he loves, I must clothe myself with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Colossians 3:12
  22. I have had that veil removed and can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord–who is the Spirit–makes me more and more like him as I am changed into his glorious image. 2 Corinthians 3:18
  23. And since I am his child, I am his heir. In fact, together with Christ I am an heir of God’s glory. But if I am to share his glory, I must also share his suffering. Romans 8:17
  24. He no longer calls me a slave, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now I am his friend, since he has told me everything the Father told him. John 15:15
  25. For the Lord my God is living among me. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in me with gladness. With his love, he will calm all my fears. He will rejoice over me with joyful songs. Zephaniah 3:17
  26. Because of Christ and my faith in him, I can now come boldly and confidently into God’s presence. Ephesians 3:12

Day 119: Super Extra Amazingly Delish

Well, I’m feeling a bit like I’m back in the saddle again. Throwing out the scale was huge, and being reminded by God that He WILL continue His covenant with me… well, both of those things somehow managed to get my sights back on track.

Over the past couple of days, it has been relatively easy to eat what I should eat… fruits, veggies, nuts. And I can definitively say that it has not be “easy” to eat what is beneficial (instead of what is “okay” like tortillas, potato chips, feta cheese, etc.) since I finished with my Lent fast. I had a bit of “backlash” from not being able to eat those things for so long that it was all I wanted at first, and since in January I’ll be “released” from the covenant and able to eat whatever I want, it was good to know that it lasted a while… a month pretty much, before I started to feel like something was “off”. And even without the scale telling me that something was wrong, I knew that something was “off”. I can’t really explain it, but eating all of that stuff was just… dissatisfying.

Turns out, food just tastes like… food. Really all of it either fits on the “ick” end of the spectrum of taste or it fits on the “delish” end or somewhere in between. But, really… honestly… nothing really goes beyond “delish”. It’s like my tastebuds max out on a delish signal to the brain and that’s it. Nothing really tastes “super extra amazingly delish”. I think what tricked me into believing that this existed before was because of the emotional connection that I was attaching to the foods as I was eating them.

  • Donuts at Happy Donuts = super extra amazingly delish… because I was with my boys, having a good time, relaxing, indulging
  • Ribeye at Roadhouse = super extra amazingly delish… because I’d go there for my birthday when I was being celebrated, with my family, having a good time, relaxing, indulging
  • Cookie Dough = super extra amazingly delish… because I so rarely make it that when I did it was a special treat, an “I deserve it” kind of moment

And that list could keep going I’m sure, but what it boils down to is that I’m learning “the truth” about food. I’m learning over and over again that it really isn’t a good comforter. or companion. or whatever else it is that I have made it.

And even more dissatisfying was knowing each time that I was not honoring God with my choices. Yes, again, I was sticking with the covenant but I was sort of ignoring making my food choices as something that would honor Him and was focusing on myself and my “needs“.

And honestly, not honoring God leaves a really bad taste in my mouth. in my heart. And, well, ultimately, I am dissatisfied.

But now that I desire for my eating to honor Him again, it’s like… well, everything is satisfying. My taste buds, my stomach, my heart, my mind, my life.

You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy. Psalm 63:5

So, really… I think that I have discovered that my God is really the only thing that is, truly, super extra amazingly delish!

Day Twenty-Seven: Ready Or Not

Today I find myself in a nice spot: I’m not really struggling today. I have been working like a mamma jamma trying to get my house recovered from my husband’s birthday party this weekend (along with the three days that I did zero chores because I pulled out my back), and honestly, I simply have not had time to think of food.

Okay, so I think that at this point I need to say that contrary to what may appear in these posts, I am not a hypochondriac. But yes, I have been sick or hurt pretty much since I started this covenant. I find it comforting in a sense that Satan should find me suddenly worthy of his attention. Perhaps I am moving up in my “Job Status” (Job as in the guy in the bible, not as in the word “occupation”) because Satan is certainly attacking my health… perhaps this Covenant is going to work. is going to change my life. is going to make me more of a threat.

Pffffffff… what am I saying… “perhaps”??? God IS working and IS changing my life and IS making me a threat. And if my soul will change for His eternal glory, then by golly, I don’t mind being sick or hurt all year. After all, “The human spirit can endure a sick body, but who can bear a crushed spirit?Proverbs 18:14

Maybe that’s why David was, like, always complaining of his bones aching and whatnot. Maybe Satan thought that he could get to David through physical pain. I guess in the long run he figured out that it wasn’t physical pain that would get to David but a different kind of physicality.

And perhaps in that there is a message.

I need to get on the armor of God in other areas of my life as well because as soon as Satan realizes that he no longer has me beat down by this addiction to food… I bet you he moves on to some other area of my life. Some unprotected area… a spot of my soul that I am not expecting him to attack. In fact, by removing this stronghold in my life, which God is doing, I will need the Holy Spirit more than ever. I will need The Word of God more than ever. I will need the Armor more than ever.

Okay, so I need the Armor. And I know what the armor is… but really how do I “get” it? How do I “prepare [my] mind for service and have self-control”? 1 Peter 1:13a Ahhhhhh, the question of the ages. Most of us Christ-followers know about the armor of God. We know what the different armor pieces are. But we so often don’t know how to apply it all.

  • belt of truth tied around your waist
  • protection of right living on your chest
  • on your feet wear the Good News of peace to help you stand strong
  • shield of faith with which you can stop all the burning arrows of the Evil One
  • God’s salvation as your helmet
  • sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God

Honestly, that is more than I can think about in one moment of temptation. But I guess that is the point of armor… you think about putting it on before the battle. Cause during the battle you don’t want to think about it or you don’t have time to think about it. But here’s what it all boils down to…

Strengthen yourselves with the same way of thinking Christ had. 1 Peter 4:1

And where do we find Christ’s thinking? Yep. The Bible. I learn the concept of truth and right living from the Bible. I learn about the Good News of peace from the Bible. I discover faith in the Bible. I am directed to God’s salvation in the bible. And well, the sword… the Word of God… IS… the Bible.

So, I have to read the Bible to get Christ’s thinking. Think about the Bible’s words of Christ’s thinking. Recite the Bible verses of Christ’s thinking. And then I will be strengthened. Then, I will be ready to stop all the burning arrows of the Evil One. And, honestly, I would just love to stick that big ol Sword of the Spirit straight into Satan’s cold, dark heart and listen to it hisssssss.

Alright Satan, I’m getting my armor on… Ready or Not…… here We come!!!!!!!

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