Day 119: Super Extra Amazingly Delish

Well, I’m feeling a bit like I’m back in the saddle again. Throwing out the scale was huge, and being reminded by God that He WILL continue His covenant with me… well, both of those things somehow managed to get my sights back on track.

Over the past couple of days, it has been relatively easy to eat what I should eat… fruits, veggies, nuts. And I can definitively say that it has not be “easy” to eat what is beneficial (instead of what is “okay” like tortillas, potato chips, feta cheese, etc.) since I finished with my Lent fast. I had a bit of “backlash” from not being able to eat those things for so long that it was all I wanted at first, and since in January I’ll be “released” from the covenant and able to eat whatever I want, it was good to know that it lasted a while… a month pretty much, before I started to feel like something was “off”. And even without the scale telling me that something was wrong, I knew that something was “off”. I can’t really explain it, but eating all of that stuff was just… dissatisfying.

Turns out, food just tastes like… food. Really all of it either fits on the “ick” end of the spectrum of taste or it fits on the “delish” end or somewhere in between. But, really… honestly… nothing really goes beyond “delish”. It’s like my tastebuds max out on a delish signal to the brain and that’s it. Nothing really tastes “super extra amazingly delish”. I think what tricked me into believing that this existed before was because of the emotional connection that I was attaching to the foods as I was eating them.

  • Donuts at Happy Donuts = super extra amazingly delish… because I was with my boys, having a good time, relaxing, indulging
  • Ribeye at Roadhouse = super extra amazingly delish… because I’d go there for my birthday when I was being celebrated, with my family, having a good time, relaxing, indulging
  • Cookie Dough = super extra amazingly delish… because I so rarely make it that when I did it was a special treat, an “I deserve it” kind of moment

And that list could keep going I’m sure, but what it boils down to is that I’m learning “the truth” about food. I’m learning over and over again that it really isn’t a good comforter. or companion. or whatever else it is that I have made it.

And even more dissatisfying was knowing each time that I was not honoring God with my choices. Yes, again, I was sticking with the covenant but I was sort of ignoring making my food choices as something that would honor Him and was focusing on myself and my “needs“.

And honestly, not honoring God leaves a really bad taste in my mouth. in my heart. And, well, ultimately, I am dissatisfied.

But now that I desire for my eating to honor Him again, it’s like… well, everything is satisfying. My taste buds, my stomach, my heart, my mind, my life.

You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy. Psalm 63:5

So, really… I think that I have discovered that my God is really the only thing that is, truly, super extra amazingly delish!

Day Ninety-Two: Taste Test

I gave myself one tiny exception in this covenant that “allows” me to have sugar… when my oldest son makes something or is terribly excited about something and wants me to taste it, then a) I try to do my best to avoid eating it if possible (like waiting until he turns away and hiding it), or b) if I can’t avoid it then I will take a tiny bite and that seems to appease him.

Well, most of these situations have been cookies or sugary candy and I think he’s only cornered me once or twice where I was “forced” to eat it… but last week he had a piece of peanut butter and chocolate from his Easter egg hunt at school and he desperately wanted me to have a bite. I just love his giving attitude and I want him to practice it as much as possible so I took the piece. Well, he stood there grinning and wide-eyed watching and waiting for me to eat it. I realized that I could not avoid it, so I took a teeeeeeeeny bite, gave him a big grin, and said, “Oh wow! Thank you so much for sharing that with me!” and watched him giggle happily and walk off.

And then… I became very, very angry.

Because that chocolate was totally lame.

And I don’t mean lame in the sense that it wasn’t a good piece, but lame in the sense that it was so totally disappointing! And I was so angry because that dadgum chocolate stuff had held me captive for sooooooooo long, and as it turns out… it was LAME.

But ya know, I think the chocolate probably did taste good… tasted as good as it always has… but I have tasted the glory of God. the peace of God. the freedom of God. And even though none of those things have ever physically touched a single taste bud on my tongue… my sense are now ninety-two days closer to the glory of eternity. And nothing, even a stolen bite of chocolate, can compare with a taste of eternity.

Taste and see that the LORD is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him! Psalm 34:8