Day 119: Super Extra Amazingly Delish

Well, I’m feeling a bit like I’m back in the saddle again. Throwing out the scale was huge, and being reminded by God that He WILL continue His covenant with me… well, both of those things somehow managed to get my sights back on track.

Over the past couple of days, it has been relatively easy to eat what I should eat… fruits, veggies, nuts. And I can definitively say that it has not be “easy” to eat what is beneficial (instead of what is “okay” like tortillas, potato chips, feta cheese, etc.) since I finished with my Lent fast. I had a bit of “backlash” from not being able to eat those things for so long that it was all I wanted at first, and since in January I’ll be “released” from the covenant and able to eat whatever I want, it was good to know that it lasted a while… a month pretty much, before I started to feel like something was “off”. And even without the scale telling me that something was wrong, I knew that something was “off”. I can’t really explain it, but eating all of that stuff was just… dissatisfying.

Turns out, food just tastes like… food. Really all of it either fits on the “ick” end of the spectrum of taste or it fits on the “delish” end or somewhere in between. But, really… honestly… nothing really goes beyond “delish”. It’s like my tastebuds max out on a delish signal to the brain and that’s it. Nothing really tastes “super extra amazingly delish”. I think what tricked me into believing that this existed before was because of the emotional connection that I was attaching to the foods as I was eating them.

  • Donuts at Happy Donuts = super extra amazingly delish… because I was with my boys, having a good time, relaxing, indulging
  • Ribeye at Roadhouse = super extra amazingly delish… because I’d go there for my birthday when I was being celebrated, with my family, having a good time, relaxing, indulging
  • Cookie Dough = super extra amazingly delish… because I so rarely make it that when I did it was a special treat, an “I deserve it” kind of moment

And that list could keep going I’m sure, but what it boils down to is that I’m learning “the truth” about food. I’m learning over and over again that it really isn’t a good comforter. or companion. or whatever else it is that I have made it.

And even more dissatisfying was knowing each time that I was not honoring God with my choices. Yes, again, I was sticking with the covenant but I was sort of ignoring making my food choices as something that would honor Him and was focusing on myself and my “needs“.

And honestly, not honoring God leaves a really bad taste in my mouth. in my heart. And, well, ultimately, I am dissatisfied.

But now that I desire for my eating to honor Him again, it’s like… well, everything is satisfying. My taste buds, my stomach, my heart, my mind, my life.

You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy. Psalm 63:5

So, really… I think that I have discovered that my God is really the only thing that is, truly, super extra amazingly delish!

Day Fifteen: The Pancake Problem

Today I had no energy to think about cooking… or eating… or anything! It was a cold, rainy day and my oldest boy woke up about 8,324 times last night because the downspout is right outside his window and it essentially sounds like a battle going on out there when it rains. So, needless to say I was in sleepy-survival mode.

And when he asked for pancakes for lunch, I was relieved that he requested something simple. (He does not have my issue with gluttony… getting him to eat anything is a miracle, so he pretty much gets to eat whatever he asks for… within reason, of course.) But I didn’t want to think about what to cook for myself too, so I thought… okay, pancakes are essentially bread. I can eat bread. It’s not like I put syrup on my pancakes anyway. I shouldn’t have a problem with them.

Well…… yes. And no.

I guess in the pancake mix that I use there is juuuuuuust enough sugar to have made those pancakes taste like the most delectable treat that I have ever had in my life. And there popped up my gluttony in a heartbeat. I ate, like, seven of them. Now they were like little silver dollar pancakes, but the point is that I was completely and totally satisfied after three of them.

I didn’t cross the “line” of the covenant technically, but oh my I sure was standing directly on it. And it backfired. So my mind renewal is that I’m attempting to be above reproach. I don’t want to get ON the line… I want to stay as far AWAY from the line as possible. And here, I “sweet talked” (haha, another diet pun) myself into thinking that those pancakes would be okay for me. But in the end, they didn’t satisfy my soul. Those dern pancakes made me feel empty and defeated. By oversatisfying my body, my soul ended up feeling starved. And some food for thought on that point (hehe, get it… “food” for thought?!?!?! I know. I’m a nerd.)…

O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory. Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer. You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy. I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night. Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely. Psalm 63:1-8