Day 172: I Don’t

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A while back on Day 148, I mentioned that I was going to a wedding and well, I went!

Not that it’s particularly related to this post, but it was so not as much of a big deal (in regards to my weight) as I thought it would be… there were some good friends there, some people that I knew but never got a chance to talk to, and a few people that I might have purposefully avoided… what can I say? I’m still harboring a bit of a low-self-confidence-teenage-girl deep in my soul. But, it was entirely irrelevant whether I was wearing a size 16 or a size 8 (although, for the record, I was wearing none of those things… I was wearing a medium! ha!) and all that really mattered was getting to catch up with a good, good friend that I haven’t seen since graduation. And her life story was far more captivating than my dress size!

Okay, but back to the topic at hand… which does have to do with the wedding though (more precisely, the reception), so stick with me.

The wedding wasn’t until 3:00 and my husband, knowing that it would be just me wanting to talk to old high school friends, opted out of going, so he was going to stay home with the boys. Well, I was ready to go by 1:30 and I decided to duck out before the boys woke up so we wouldn’t have to go through the whole rigamarole of me leaving and their tears and waving to me and watching me drive away.

And after I finished my one need-to-do errand, I realized that I had forgotten to eat lunch and… I still had an hour until the wedding. Afraid that they might not have something that I could eat at the wedding and being at the point where I was getting hunnnnnngary, I started heading toward Petra (this aweeeeeeeesome fresh Mexican food bistro in McKinney).

I got their fish tacos (yum.may.) with charro beans and tortilla soup… it was all uhmazing (there’s a pic of it at the top)! And I sat out on the patio all by myself (cause everyone else likes this stuff called air conditioning… weird, I know) and faced out toward the green belt behind the restaurant and listened to the music that mimics that I would hear on the beaches of Mexico.

I ate just enough until I was full… okay, maybe a smidge past full but not feeling gross or anything, and then I went on to the wedding. The wedding was beau.ti.ful. and so special and I was just so… happy the whole time. It made me both relive the awesomeness of my own wedding and also made me want to renew my vows just so that I can have another wedding cause really, although they are a lot of work, they are also a lot of fun… and there’s the whole white dress thing. Loved her wedding dress.

Okay, okay… the point.

Well, at the reception, there was a whole lot more than just cake and punch… they had a brilliant spread! Sandwiches, fruit, cheese, crackers, etc. etc. etc. And my friends all got up from their table to go get some grub. I wasn’t hungry, but I also really wanted to hang out with them… so I went through the line with them… and didn’t get a thing.

And I didn’t spontaneously combust because I didn’t get food.

And no one pointed and laughed at me.

And I sat back down with my friends while they snacked.

And it was all good.

And I was reminded once again of

a) how much food is intertwined with our lives… to a lot of people wedding = reception = good food and cake
b) how I don’t have to eat when I’m not hungry
c) how far God has brought me
d) how far God still can bring me!

So, although I’m so extremely pleased that my dear friend said “I Do”… I’m just as pleased that I said “I Don’t… want anything to eat.”

Day 124: All Good

So, I just started this whole no bread and no chips “addition” to the covenant, and I thought that I’d talk about the first time the new rule made an issue… or was a learning moment for me.

Even though I posted about modifying the covenant a few days ago, it was actually on Sunday that I had the “revelation”… or at least that was the day that I made the decision. Well, my first thought was, “Oh, well, we are going to Texas Roadhouse for my brother’s dinner tonight and they have some wicked awesome rolls, so I think that I will wait until tomorrow to start the whole ” no bread” thing.”

And, thanks to the renewing… or at least to the process of renewing since I am by no means completely renewed yet… I immediately had the thought: “Oh, Come on, January! This is a deal with God. There is no waiting to follow the call of GOD ALMIGHTY just because you’d like to eat some BREAD at a restaurant!?!?!”

And I am reminded of Jonah… he very clearly heard the Word of God, and then… he did the opposite. Because that is what Jonah wanted to do. Just like me, I wanted to go out and eat bread even though I had clearly heard God tell me to do the opposite.

One day the Lord told Jonah, the son of Amittai, to go to the great city of Nineveh and say to the people, “The Lord has seen your terrible sins. You are doomed!” Instead, Jonah ran from the Lord. Jonah 1:1-3

Lucky for me, I have people like Jonah in the bible who didn’t listen to God… so I get to see that things don’t turn out so hot for those who disobey God and then I don’t have to make the same mistake. (Although, golly, how many times do I pull a “Jonah” and do the wrong thing anyway???) But, for once, and thanks to the renewing of my mind that has been going on for the past, ohhhhhhh, 123 days… I was able to make the right decision.

And there was one point at dinner when there was one roll left and my brother said, “Hey Jan, do you want that?” And I was able to say, “Nah, I’m all good.”

And I am…

…all good.

Thanks to God, I am alllllllllll gooooooood.