Day 169: The Neverending Covenant

Being public about the covenant has been one of the best things for me. Time and time again I have the motivation to make the right choices, the God-honoring choices, because I know that I have people that care about me reading.

But the other day I realized another important truth about this covenant. Because I “went public”, this covenant is no longer just… my… covenant. I chose to share it with hundreds of people… originally in an effort to make myself accountable to others. And that is still a big motivation. But it has also become a help to people. I guess it’s encouraging for people to see someone else struggling with the same issues… to know that we are not alone.

Like, on Facebook when another mom posts a pic of her kids and in the background I can see toys littered all around, dishes piled up in the kitchen, and a laundry basket overflowing with clothes to be folded… well, I just feel so much better! Oh, it’s not just me. It’s not just my house. It’s not just my family. my mistakes. my craziness. my mess. my life. I’m not alone!

And I think that my covenant offers that to some people… a look inside a part of my soul that we spend such emotional effort trying to conceal. That part that we are ashamed of. But I do my best to take a look at my soul every day and take a snapshot of what it really looks like. Some days it’s nice and clean. Some days it’s just a little mess. Some days… it’s a total absolute wreck.

And that’s yet another part of this covenant that makes it so much more than just a “diet”. The connection that I have made with so many of you can’t just end on January 1st. And the connection that I have made with God can’t just end on January 1st either.

But what really struck me the most the other day was that verse…

When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required. Luke 12:48

And it made me realize… I have been entrusted with this gift of freedom and with the knowledge of how to get that freedom from food. I thought that a year would originally be my only “requirement” but now I see that I can’t stop this covenant. I can’t just go back to normal again eating ribeyes, and ice cream, and cookie dough, and a dozen breadsticks, and, and, and. I can’t just gain weight back when I’m off of this… it’s not just “some diet”… it’s a covenant with God that I have had. A Change of life… of soul… of heart. I can’t just go back.

And, honestly, I don’t want to.