Day 406: Patched Up

rainforest pool

Last summer, my boys wanted to blow up our little kiddie pool in the backyard, but Big Daddy was gone and I didn’t know how to work the air compressor, so I decided that I would just have to go old school on that pool. Well, sorta old school. I used a bicycle foot pump.

And it took for.ev.er.

But I did it. I struggled through. Switched out which foot I used several times. Sweated. Huffed and puffed. Used my hands to work the foot pump a few times cause my legs were giving out. But I kept going and finished it. Even had to blow up the little extra decorative parts using air from my lungs.

And then, I realized… one of the little extra blowup parts that made the pool look like a rainforest… had a hole. It wasn’t the WHOLE pool that had a hole, but still, If I didn’t keep that part aired up it would fall over into the pool. I mean, the pool would still be usable, but not as fun.

My faith has been so much like that pool the last few months. It has needed constant work to keep it aired up. And it just hasn’t been as much… “fun”. But, it’s worked. When my sweet grandmother went to Jesus in November, my faith was there… it led me immediately to Jesus. He was my comfort, my hope, my refuge. Then my faith went back to “keeping it aired up” status. Not splashing around. Not resting in the cool comfort. Just working at keeping it going.

But lately, there is this tiny… okay, maybe not tiny, but very small… almost imperceptible change happening in my heart.

Where I find myself softly choosing Jesus instead of my own desires.
Where I find myself longing for His Word.
Where I find myself speaking words of adoration and thanks to Him.
Where I find myself slowly, slowly finding calmness, contentment, perspective.

Honestly… I can’t say that there is anything that I did, or didn’t do, that led to this change. Maybe I’m reading my bible again more. Maybe I’m praying more and with a little more faith. Maybe my Sunday School teacher is the bizomb and is ripping apart everything that I have believed and making sure I believe it for real. Maybe just picking up the Beth Moore book every couple of days is transforming me. Maybe it’s my life calming down a bit. Maybe it’s the Easter season upon me.

Or maybe it’s just God’s plan. God’s timing. God’s change.

Cause I learned a lot about myself, my faith, my God, my gluttony, my hurts, my hopes during that time of keeping my faith “aired up”. And I was reminded of how important it is to stay the course, stay steady. It doesn’t have to be a Beth Moore study every night, or a Jim Cymbala prayer, or a Billy Graham conversion.

A verse a day. A prayer a day. A worship a day.
In the car. On the potty. In my bed. At the dinner table.
Quick and hurried. Tearful and begging. Flustered and worried.

The key… is going back to Him. Keeping that faith aired up. Cause He’ll patch that hole. You keep it aired up and He’ll patch that hole when the time is right. When you’ve learned a little something. When you’ve realized how much easier it is to just let Him patch that hole instead of keeping it aired up.

And then, for a bit, you can sit back, grab a glass of iced tea (peach flavored, if you’re really living it up), and relax in the cool, refreshing water of His Spirit.

Day 150: The Devil Wears Speedo

Ahhhhhhh, it’s pool season again.

Admittedly, over the years pool season has given me both trembles of excitement… and waves of nausea. Hanging out by the pool (which, in our case is a little kiddie pool) in the shade of a tree under the hot sun with a cool Texas breeze drifting over me… oh it’s just pure decadence to me. I love the heat and I love the water… not a big fan of hurricanes which is the only reason I don’t live on the beach. But with all of that comes… bathing suits. And bathing suits, I’m convinced, are of. the. devil. And I’d just love to tell you why I think that!!!

  1. If a girl is skinny or has a great figure or whatever, then starting at a very young age, she is pressured into wearing skimpy, skimpy bikinis… much to the chagrin of a mother trying to protect her innocence as well as the chagrin of all the mothers of boys who are trying to protect their already fragile innocence! (I have recently come to understand this more keenly working in the youth department at church…)
  2. If a girl is not so skinny or doesn’t fit into the “skinny girl norm” look then wearing a bathing suit is nothing short of humiliating. I mean, most of us spend hours shopping trying to find some kind of outfit that will cover our less-than-favorite areas, and then come pool season, we have to wear what is essentially underwear out in public… exposing our bodies for what they really look like underneath those well-planned outfits from the rest of the year.

See?

Proof that the devil does exist… bathing suits.

As an adult, I have teetered so long in between both of those categories above. I always wanted to wear a “cute” bathing suit, but hated to be revealing and… well… skanky, and even more, I hated having to reveal that I was far more overweight than my capris would allow anyone to see!

But… yes, there’s always a “but” isn’t there? (And when I’m in my bathing suit it’s a really big “butt”- hahaha! Ohhhhh, I’m so funny!)

The other day my four year old went to a swim party at a local natatorium with this awesome splashy play area inside and a lazy river type thing and a big pool area and a hot tub and a ginormous red water slide. It was awesome. We adults were to go and play with them, so I had my hubs stay at home while our toddler napped and my four year old and I went on a little mommy-son outing! And what must mommy-dearest wear to this pool party? Well, a bathing suit, of course!

Over the years, since my family loves to go to the lake on my dad’s boat, I have chosen to get competitive swim suits (like speedo or TYR) because they are very lake friendly (especially when my dad pulls us around behind the boat tubing… the man is a master at flipping my brother and I off the tube). And I figured that type of suit would be best for going to this play area with my son who does not yet know how to swim and would probably be all over me.

I tell you all of this to say that I was determined to not be stressed about my appearance there. I kept reminding myself that what I looked like in a bathing suit had nothing to do with… well, with anything! The bathing suit was merely to cover what it needed to cover and allow me to swim and have a blast with my son.

And you know what… I actually believed myself this time. I wasn’t self-conscious there. I didn’t even try to suck in my belly! I just… swam. and laughed. and splashed. and swam some more. and chased my son around. and then I swam some more with him. It was a great, great time!

It was really one of the first times that I have felt like I was living that verse that I have had to repeat to myself over and over and over again…

The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

20120606-143634.jpg

Moment Of Brilliance

20120606-113051.jpg
Okay so in no way does this have anything to do with my covenant diet, but it was just too brilliant not to share!!! (Especially since my moments of “Mommy Brilliance” tend to be few and far between- ha!)

My boys have been really wanting some pool play but you know how they slip and slide and fall on their rears in the little blow up pools? Welllll, we got some of these hand-me-down old patio cushions and put them under the pool!

The boys have been playing NON STOP!!! It takes out the element of being afraid to slip and fall so they are splashing around more, running and jumping in, etc.

Gonna try it tomorrow with the slip n slide!

20120606-113022.jpg