Recipe: QUICK & EASY Cauliflower Pizza Crust {Vegetarian & Low Carb}

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Okay, so let’s just be real.

Y’all know… I’m a sugar-lover. It is my weakness. Ice cream. Chocolate candy bars. Donuts. And the like.

Salty stuff doesn’t really “tempt” me. Cheese isn’t really a big issue. And bread is a little bit of an issue but more so because it’s just the most convenient way to eat. And it seems like most people have issues with one or the other of these if not issues with all of them.

But if there is anything other than sugar that pops up on my I-just-can’t-resist-it food radar pretty frequently, it is pizza.

I could literally live on pizza, hamburgers, donuts, and chocolate ice cream.

Ya know, if it weren’t for that whole… nutrition thing.

So when I came across these in my low-carb-vegetarian searches on Pinterest, I was intrigued but, naturally, pretty dern skeptical.

I mean, pizza crust… made out of one of the worst tasting vegetables ever to hit the planet?!?!

Yeah, no thanks.

But we are reallllllllly trying to stay away from processed carbs like, ya know… pizza crust, and so I thought I’d give it a go. I was expecting (and secretly hoping for) a failure.

BUT THEY WERE FLIPPING UH. MAZ.ING.

So, without further ado…

Cauliflower Pizza Crust

  • 2 cups of “riced” cauliflower (see my how-to below)
  • 2 cups shredded cheese (mozzarella or Colby Jack)
  • 2 eggs
  • 16-20 basil leaves, cut in strips (about 1/4 cup) *optional, or you can use another herb*

Preheat: Oven to 450
Makes: Four 4″x4″ crusts (My fam plowed through these… even my two picky, picky sons so next time I’m gonna double this!)

{All my “instructional” pics are below the recipe.}

To rice cauliflower:

  1. For this recipe, cut off the cauliflower so that you have mainly the florets (the bushy part on top). Cut off about half of a head of cauliflower.
  2. Put it in a Ninja blender or food processor. (I used my Ninja in the big pitcher… worked like a boss!)
  3. I only had to run it on speed 2 in my Ninja for, like, thirty seconds! I was so pumped that it was such a quick process! It will look like… well, sorta like rice!
  4. Measure out two cups. (And I really would measure it out because I think this recipe needs to be pretty “precise”)

To make the crust:

  1. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper (and I also sprayed it with a bit of non-stick).
  2. Mix the riced cauliflower, shredded cheese, eggs, and basil (omit this or pick another herb of your choice) together.
  3. Plop a big hunk (yeah, that’s an official term) on the paper and start to spread it out. I used a fork here to sorta “pat” it down and also to help square off the edges a bit.
  4. Bake for 15 minutes. I found that a bit of the cheese sorta “snuck” out, but I just used a spatula and shoved it back into the edge of the crust.

To make a pizza:

  1. It’s the same gig as a usual homemade pizza… slop some sauce on there (I always use just plain ol pasta sauce). Always try to leave a little edge so that the sauce doesn’t drip over and below your crust cause it can burn and that’s just plain ol gross.
  2. Sprinkle on some cheese.
  3. Then add toppings if you want. On ours tonight, I chopped up a large portabella mushroom that my man Mr. Chord Dice had grilled earlier for lunch… it was PERFECT on top!
  4. Bake for another ten minutes.
  5. I put mine on a cooling rack for a minute or so cause I can.not.stand. soggy stuff that sits on a plate.

Here are some pretty pics of the process! I really hope you try these and enjoy them because they were totally legit AND they looked good and fancy too!

The ingredients… they look kinda pretty!

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I just had to take a pic of my old school oven dial…

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Before going in the oven

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After the first bake!

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With the toppings! I was admittedly starting to get excited!

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The final product! Ohmygeeeeee… so good!

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Day 481: Black Sabbath

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I get so optimistic about the sabbath these days.

That’s cause I actually follow the sabbath… well, I mean, I follow it… more… than I used to. I try to not do work (no laundry, no extra dishes, minimal cooking, no cleaning, etc) and I just rest and maybe even take a nap.

For the majority of the day today, my sabbath went well… according to plan. And I originally wrote out pretty much everything that happened during my sabbath that went according to plan and then realized it was all a bit tedious and only interesting to me, but needless to say, I did quite a bit of prep yesterday to make sure that the sabbath today was a day of rest.

And really… it was. it was a day of rest. a day for God. a day to remember that he saved us from slavery with his strong arm.

That was my day… for about 3/4 of it.

Then came {DUUUUUM DUMDUM DUM}… The Pizza.

My hubs and my boys really wanted pizza and we pretty much decided last time that we ordered from Domino’s that it would be our last, so I ran up to Target (without my kids… ahhhhhhhh) and snagged a few pizzas. And upon being asked what he would like, my hubs specifically said “Get one for you.” Oh, how sweet… He provided a way out for me.

So, what did I do?

I got the three-meat pizza.

For him.

And me.

Even though I thought to myself, “Get something else entirely… you aren’t even CRAVING pizza. Get what you want.”

But I didn’t.

And then I came home and GORGED on pizza and one glass of wine too many and then… AGAIN… with the cookie dough.

I mean, might as well, right?

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

And I had done so WELL earlier today. I had even resisted making myself a peanut butter and honey sandwich as an easy lunch and opted for a salad instead.

It’s just all so… so… backward.

I’m supposed to be keeping this sabbath HOLY… not indulging in all of these things that I’ve said I won’t!

And just as I said that I thought… you need to fast… like, completely, fast on the sabbath. As in NO food. Otherwise it’s a day about YOU and YOUR rest when it should be a day about HIM. It’s a day that you are to remember the horrid slavery that you were in that God rescued you from and you aren’t remembering that or celebrating that when you are eating FLIPPING COOKIE DOUGH.

Gosh guys… I hate to be Debbie Downer. Trust me… I’m looking for the positive side of me just as much as you guys are. I’m looking for that girl that was so enthralled a year ago with the Word of God. I’m looking for the girl that is who I want to be. But man, she’s hiding good… for a reason, I know.

And that’s why I’m going to bail on you now without really tying this up into a nice little bow. It’s 10:03pm and I want to get to bed so that I can get up early enough to read the Word. Forget food. Forget diets. Forget smoothies. Forget salads.

I need Jesus.

I don’t need that girl to show up again.

I need Jesus.

I need Him every day. I need Him to invade my mind. I need that strong arm. Hear me now, Jesus… I need you. I can’t get out of Egypt on my own. Come and get me Lord. Do what it takes. Burning bush. Exiled Moses. Plagues and first-borns. Come and get me.

Day 390: Might As Well

{Disclaimer: I wrote most of this on Sunday… but never got around to finishing it.}

Oh my… the words “might as well” are like the kiss of death for someone who struggles with gluttony.

Well, I already ate a few Oreos, so I might as well eat the whole bag.
I broke my diet this morning, so I might as well eat an entire bag of chips.
I ate the rest of my leftover hamburger from last night, so I might as well eat some pizza too.

Yeah… that last one… that was me… today.

You see, I had my first “birthday party” celebration night on Saturday night. My husband’s birthday is… oh, well, it’s tomorrow! {Happy Birthday my love!} And so we went out with some friends to BJ’s Brewhouse to celebrate (and then we were going to go to Top Golf to hang out and play there, but the wait was FOUR. HOURS. LONG.) and since it was a birthday PARTY, I was “allowed” to eat whatever. I thought I did pretty good… I ate some chips, had half of a hamburger (yummmmm) and half of my fries, and had a couple glasses of wine.

I felt GREAT! I mean… I had not busted out into gluttony. It was just as I hoped it would be.

And thennnnnnnnnn, came today.

You see, we got the boys and the babysitter cheese pizzas while we were gone, and gosh darnit, but those dadgum pizzas slices looked and smelled amazing. And I thought about them, and thought about them, and thought about them… this morning and then again when I got home from church.

So, instead of eating the pizzas, I ate the other half of the hamburger leftovers. Honestly, I think this was my downfall even more than the eventual pizza “incident” cause I ate what I WASN’T craving. I wanted that pizza. All I really wanted was that pizza, but instead I chose to eat the hamburger because it could kinda be justified in my mind as “okay” since I had gotten it at the birthday party the night before. But the pizza… well, it was just off limits all around, and I knew it.

So, I ate the other half of my hamburger.

And THEN I ate a piece of pizza.

Because,  you know, I might as well since I had already broken the covenant by having that hamburger.

Honestly, I only ate one piece of pizza because I felt I had to sneak eat it, and then I went to put my sons down for their naps and while I was doing that my husband ate all the rest of the pizza. My plan was foiled. But I was sorta glad because then it took the opportunity away from me.

But what I want to focus in on is the “might as well” syndrome. Cause I’m purty dern sure the that “might as well” syndrome is what takes someone from being just a food addict to being a glutton… that is probably really overweight like I was. Because this phrase is what gives us “permission” to break from our diet, or covenant, or healthy lifestyle.

But WHY?

I… don’t know why actually! Haha! But I know that it is… it is a get out of jail free card, only it is exactly what puts us IN JAIL. This phrase overrides our good decision making and puts us back under the control of our body’s desires to eat whatever we want, as much as we want, whenever we want.

And honestly, I have no new fancy scriptures on my heart that tie to this. I obviously didn’t have anything that dissuaded me from breaking my covenant. And I don’t mind admitting that I’m feeling a bit defeated. It’s like I have had God’s power in my hand for a year, and now it’s… just gone. It’s like I lost it in my miscellaneous junk drawer and can’t find it. And even worse, I don’t really feel like digging for it. I’d rather just… sin.

Just keeping it real. Sorry to be Debbie Downer, but hopefully over the next few days and weeks I’ll work through this and then if you hit this spot too then it’ll help you work through it as well!

Cause one thing I know… there is HOPE. There is always HOPE.

Day 246: Walk The Line

Day 7 of my Sans-Snacky fast.

So I have figured out yet another thing about my eating (I know, I know… I thought I’d be “done” figuring stuff out at this point too)!

The other night when I had my Thor Pizza experience, I had justified having the pizza because it was still “around” dinner time… so, yeah, that counts as part of dinner, right?!?!

Yeahhhhhh, no.

So I realized that I didn’t really have a clearly defined concept of “dinner” or of a “meal”. And when rules or expectations are not in black and white then I tend to look for the gray. I tend to want to walk the line… not avoid the line.

And ya know… back in Old Testament days, maybe it was the norm to just sin or not sin. Maybe the “line” wasn’t that big of a deal, but once Jesus came… well, He really stepped it up. He made it more about the motivation behind the choice to sin or not to sin. It suddenly became more about the actual thoughts. It wasn’t just adultery to have an affair, but now to look at a married person and want them was adultery. It wasn’t just murder to take someone’s life… but to hate them… that was murder in your heart.

Well, a similar concept is going on here… I knew in my soul that I was “breaking” my covenant fast with God by eating when I was no longer sitting down to eat dinner at the table but I was still eating. But, I just thought about the outward action of it and since it was “around” dinner time I went with it anyway.

It might not have been gluttony (although it was… cause I wasn’t hungry but I was still eating) from the outside looking in, but it was gluttony in the sense that, in my soul, I was choosing what I was lusting after instead of choosing what was right.

Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. 2 Timothy 2:22

So I tell ya… poor Thor… but I think that next time I have to make that pizza that I’m going to have to bake it, take out my son’s two pieces or whatever, and then immediately wrap up the rest of it in foil and toss it in the freezer. I want to run from that stuff. I don’t want to walk that line of sin. I want to run as far away from it as possible!

(And I got some practice at this pretty quick cause my son asked for two pieces of pizza for dinner tonight and then only. ate. one. Oh heavens. But because I had already written this post, I was able to withstand. I wrapped that piece back up and put it in the fridge. Here is the temptation of gluttony in solid form…

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Day 166: Thor, Table For Two

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I know. I know.

A picture of pizza and Thor?!!? What am I thinking? But there is method to my madness…

You see, my five-year old is on this cheese pizza kick, and he is sooooooo not an eater. Not a healthy eater. Not a bad eater. He’s just not much of an eater.  I think it comes from the days when I was nursing him and realized, a bit later than I should have, that he was in the 4th percentile (which is an indication that either a kid is starving or has something seriously wrong with them) and in our case… he was starving… my milk was not so much milk as it was… water. Yeah, as if nursing isn’t already the most difficult part of motherhood, add the guilt of starving your first child.

That was a rough time for me… we’ll leave it at that! Haha!

Anyway, so when he likes a food… I pretty much jump on it. Unfortunately the effect of this is that he then almost ODs on whatever food he likes and then never wants it again. But until I choose to learn from that mistake, when the kid asks for a cheese pizza (which is really only like every other week or so… I’m being over dramatic about it simply because he almost never requests food), well… then I give him a cheese pizza.

And this one time in particular, he asked for a cheese pizza on a Friday and I was exhausted from being up really late the night before, so I conceded reallllllllly easily to his request. And then when he came across this pizza at Target and it had a picture of Thor on it… well, whatever defenses were left completely crumbled! (I’m sort of an Avengers nut thanks to my kid… and my favorite is either Thor or Iron Man… wow. irrelevant information yet again!)

Oh wow… ANYWAYYYYY all of this to say, he ate about half of the pizza. And so what was left? Yep… the other half of a cheese pizza. A cheese pizza that’d had Thor’s picture on it.

I was doomed.

Sure, I had already eaten my dinner. No, of course I wasn’t hungry. And I already mentioned that I was tired.

This is a bad combo… pizza + tired = fail.

And I ate his left over piece and two more pieces.

Shame. Guilt. Sorrow. Grief. Resolve. Shame. Guilt. Sorrow. Grief. Resolve.

You know the cycle.

But one thing that I have started to add in to that cycle whenever I eat when I shouldn’t or eat something I shouldn’t or eat in a way that is not honoring God because it’s eating for a reason other than eating to live… then I add in the step of evaluating WHY I ate when I wasn’t hungry. or what I shouldn’t have. or too much.

And a lot of times it is because I am tired.

My revelations on the importance of sleep are going to come up more in another post, but in essence, if at all possible… I need to get enough sleep. Sure, I have a toddler, so this is not always possible. But when I can get enough sleep, I need to shut down facebook, shut down my bible even, shut down the dishes and go. to. bed.

Otherwise, I’m asking for it the next day. And why set myself up for a struggle… doesn’t Satan do that enough as it is? Why should I make it harder on myself!??!

And I love The Message’s version of these verses… encouragement to do what we can, or as my husband has taught our son to say, “Do my best and trust God to do the rest!”…

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls! Hebrews 12:1-3

Day Eighteen: Glutton Free Pizza

I think last night was one of my first tests… and I “won”!

Our oldest boy requested a pizza and movie night, so my husband took him to pick them up. They went to Walmart and got their Meat Lovers pizza which was fine (although I would have loved a veggie supreme… never thought those words would come out of my mouth) because I just picked off the pepperonis and sausages… just like a kid, hehe!

Now, ya see, I love Walmart pizzas and usually gorge myself on them… five or six big ol’ pieces. But this time… my mind actually wanted to eat within limitation.

Okay, okay. So what’s the big deal? The big deal is that I wanted to limit myself. Not because I want to lose weight. Not to be healthy. Not to save some to sneak later. Not to impress my husband with my dainty self-control. Not even so that I could have a topic for my next post. But because I am not a glutton.

Not anymore.

I am not a glutton. I am a new creation.