Day 363: Pantrywaist

No, I promise that’s not a misspelling.

It’s just that over the past few days I have realized Whoa. This Big Momma here (that’s what my boys call me) has been eating a lot of bread!

And I find that every time I am hungry, I head right for the pantry. And well… my pantry is what one might call “Processed Central”! So, I haven’t really been able to eat anything out of there. I mean, I do have pasta, rice, and I just bought some quinoa to try, raisins, cashews, and peanut butter. But other than that- oh, popcorn, I also eat popcorn- it’s kind of stuff not… for me. (And no, my pantry is NOT organized in the least bit… but, neither am I!)

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So, I have found myself to be a bit pantry-less over the past few days since I started my “new” covenant of no bread and no chips.

But I’m thinking that’s maybe a good thing cause I’m pretty sure over the past few months I have developed a bit of what I might call a “pantrywaist”. My waist is holding onto quite a bit of our pantry’s contents! Haha!

And I originally just came up with the name cause I thought it was a clever spin-off of “pantywaist” which was used for a while to denote a weakling man, but it originated with these outfits where the shirt would button onto the kid’s underwear!

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See… who says I only talk about diets on here!?!? Haha!

Anyway, but yesterday when I started trying on my clothes that I wore this past June when I went to Nashville with my husband for his trade show for his music instruction/songwriting product Chord Dice… wellllll, let’s just say that yesterday my muffin top was a bit more pronounced than it was in June!

And I thought to myself “Oh man… looks like I’ve got me a pantrywaist!”

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And what I find interesting is that I tried, I tried multiple times, last year to start a covenant for a few weeks or just mid-year to go “off” of bread. I’m still not entirely sure why my commitment wouldn’t stick with those. Probably because they were more me led. Like, they were temporary fixes instead of a long-term desire to be healed. Covenanting off of sugar, meat, bread, and chips for a year… well, that’s a commitment on my part to change permanently instead of to just keep the pounds off. I have already found it so “easy” to resist bread and chips (easy as in there isn’t a battle raging inside of me because they are just… not an option!

So, I’m working again on this retraining- going to the fruit supply instead of the pantry supply for food.

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And I see now why all the nutritionists say that you need to make a “life change” because diets sorta wear off, motivation tapers, and old habits slowly creep back in… so even a “life change” can kind of wear off. So, it isn’t really about a “life change” for me… for me it’s a “life commitment”.

A commitment to deny the presence of the sin of gluttony in my life. A life commitment to turn to God for fulfillment. A life commitment to never be the same. to be a new creation. to never be a pantrywaist again.

Day 130: Nit Gonna Get Me Down

Over the past day my oldest has been scratching his head a lot. I thought it was because of a recent change in shampoo and decided to give both he and his brother a good ol Head N Shoulders washing.

And then I went to check the scalp on my youngest to make sure it was squeaky clean and noticed these itty bitty brown dots on his scalp.

My stomach flip flopped. Oh please Lord, let that be something he got caught in his hair playing outside and not lice.

Apparently though you have to pray that prayer way before they even get it. Haha! Cause lice they were… well, a bunch of those little nits that turn into lice. So I sent my husband out to the pharmacy to pick up that RID stuff (which, for the record, smells exactly the same as it did when I had lice in fourth grade).

I looked through the hair on my oldest and he looked clean but I decided to treat him anyway. Good thing- he had more than his brother.

All of that to say, after four hours of scrubbing, rinsing, gelling, picking, combing, gelling again, picking again, and combing again, then washing again… both of my boys were deloused.

And I don’t know if you have seen a pic of my curly fro, but getting lice would be catastrophic for me, so I thought y’all would get a kick out of how I attempted to “protect” my scalp while I was working away on the boys and their little friends…

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Now. That is gross information for someone getting on this blog… haha, maybe it will keep you from wanting to eat though for a bit!!!

But I bring it up to say that delousing a toddler and a four year old is a rather stressful event… especially since you have to do it well or else you’ll just be in the same boat again the next week. There I was delousing and feeling all sorts of tense and then I had a cool moment… I realized that I had not even thought of chocolate. or sugar. or bread. okay, I did think about eating a saltine.

A saltine?

Yes. A saltine.

Why would you be tempted to eat a saltine???

My toddler loves them and he was snacking on them while I picked at his head like momma orangutang. And when I passed the little stack of them I was about .5 seconds away from popping one on in my gullet.

Annnnnnnd ya know what stopped me? The covenant.

I am so glad that I “upgraded” the covenant to include cutting out bread and chips… and yeah I know a cracker isn’t a chip, but yeah… it might as well be. As I reached out to snag one, my brain said, “Hey Jan… covenant. Upgraded covenant. No chips.” And I put it back and that was that. I returned to my ever glamorous life of delousing children.

And I know that I have mentioned this verse a lot lately, but I just have to bring it up again. I think maybe God is in the process of writing it on my heart. deeeeeeeeep on my heart. Haha!

O Lord, God of Israel, there is no God like you in all of heaven and earth. You keep your covenant and show unfailing love to all who walk before you in wholehearted devotion. 2 Chronicles 6:14

But also this one… I had to have strength to resist the saltine (haha- that even sounds funny to me, but, eh, such is an addiction to food. All of it qualifies)! And that strength comes from God- and out of my love for God.

And now that I look at this one, I’m liking it just as much as the previous verse:

Now all glory to God, who is able to make you strong. Romans 16:25

Cause that’s where it comes from! My strength comes from God. There is no other way to explain it.

Yep. Even that saltine. those dad gum lice. that bully Satan. They’re “nit” gonna get me down. Haha! Gotta love the malapropisms!!!

Day 127: Props To My Peeps

Today I went over to my friend Amanda’s* house for lunch and a play date for our kids. She was just… an awesome hostess! Her momma definitely trained her up right!!!

Our kids are almost the same ages and she has an extremely kid-friendly house… it was truly relaxing and enjoyable to just sit and chat. And lucky for me, Amanda has been reading my blog lately so she knew my… “restrictions”. But double lucky for me… nah, I’m gonna call this a blessing… she made sure that all of the food met my “diet”. Even the newest no-bread and no-chips. It was just soooo considerate! And it made me feel refreshed. honored. special. worthy.

I don’t know why it made me feel all of those things, but it did. That is a good friend.

A lot of people, well at least at the beginning of my covenant before I had lost weight, were like “Girl, you crazy” or “I could never give up meat.” And I totally understood their sentiments… heck, days before I had been saying the exact same things. But all the same, it was kind of… I dunno… demoralizing. So when I have a friend treat my covenant as special, it just sort of builds me up!

And while I’m at it I really need to thank my family as well… my mom always makes sure that there are plenty of yummy options for me… and again, it feels like support and… blessing… when someone does that. My husband brought home that Olive Garden meal for me and made sure to get me shrimp so that I could eat all of it. Just a… blessing.

So, I wanted to take a moment and thank my friends and family for being… a blessing to me.

And I’m going to cite this version (The Message) of this verse because I love how the ending of it describes exactly how I feel about my sweet friendships and my sweet family (although the beginning of the verse is kinda oogie sounding, I’ll admit)…

Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight, a sweet friendship refreshes the soul. Proverbs 27:9

*Nope… not her real name either. It’s kind of fun to change names… like writing “secret” notes in junior high!

Day 125: Uh Oh…

Haha – well, I knew what I wanted to title this already but I just sorta started to think that someone might look at just the title in their inbox and think, “Oh, poor January, she musta broken her covenant again. Bless her heart.” (Which, I’m a southern woman… “Bless her heart” never means that for real, it means, “Oh thank heavens someone has messed up so I can feel better about myself!” haha)

But, it’s not so much about that at all (Thank Ya Jesus!) but about a friend of mine that called a couple of days ago (whom I have yet to call back because I’m a crazy woman with crazy kids that can’t seem to be quiet long enough for me to make a phone call and when they are sleeping, I have to be quiet so that they can sleep, y’all know the drill… even if you don’t have kids then you probably have some crazy sister-in-law or cousin who has young kids… we tend to be pretty crazy protective of the nap time!!!). She recently started the covenant and called saying that she was a little freaked out because she had gained four pounds.

So I’m going to write my friend Rhonda a post in response to her call… sorta kill two birds with one stone, ya know? Plus, I had another friend, Christy, who had the exact same thing happen to her.

First of all, I don’t know! haha! I had no idea that I would lose weight myself so quickly. I had no idea if I would lose weight at all… I just hoped that I would.

GET OFF TOSS THE SCALE: So, really, my first thing would be to say that it cannot be about the weight. If I have learned anything through this process, it is to not weigh. Allow your clothes not fitting to be your only guide if you have to have a guide… as difficult as that may be. We just need to forget all of this weight stuff… these arbitrary numbers. This body of ours that God has designed is infinitely complex and it responds to eating, not eating, changing diets, etc. exactly as it should. So, if you know that you are eating foods that honor God and only eating until you are satisfied/no longer hungry, then just turn your focus to Him. Which leads me to my next point…

FOCUS ON HIM: I think that the best part of the covenant so far as been how much it has forced me to read the Word of God. I mean, like I have said, I have been reading through the bible since October but this has taken it to a whole new level because I am relying on the Word to save me (in a non-get-salvation-go-to-heaven kind of way, of course). When I need some of those things that I turned to food for before (comfort, entertainment, relief, relaxation, etc), now I turn to the Word (well, at least 95% of the time – haha… okay, okay, 92% of the time). And it has been so awesome to see Him sustain me with just the Word. It truly is POWER and it keeps me from overeating or eating when I’m not hungry or eating what I have agreed not to eat… which leads me to my next point as well…

WHAT’S THE PROB: I think it’s important to take a real-honest-to-God look at myself every once in a while and evaluate the way I eat and decide if I think it honors God or not. Most of the time… well, actually, so far… All of the time that I have been gaining or not losing it has been because:

  • I was overeating (eating when I’m not hungry for some “other” reason that wasn’t hunger and/or eating when I am already full) or because
  • I was eating too many processed or “easy” foods (i.e. bread, tortillas, peanuts, cheese) instead of foods that would really honor God because they are beneficial for my body (i.e. fruits and vegetables).

In fact, this has been really good for me to write about because I have been going through a similar “Why am I not losing?” kind of phase. I think that knocking out the bread and chips will help me out in that area because they were becoming an all-too-frequent “go to” but I also think that I’m going to come up with a new rule for myself… if I am hungry and it’s not a meal (like it’s snack time) then I can eat fruit. I still don’t tend to “default” to fruit even though it completely rox my sox and I really have gotten to the point where I love it…

  1. I just need to have it around all the time so I need to be more diligent about getting to the store… the same way I am about whole milk for my toddler I need to be about fruit for me… if we are out then I need to get my bootie to the store and load up, and
  2. I need to help renew my mind so that it defaults to fruit. I have gotten my mind to “default” to the Word to sustain me and now I need to retrain this “go to” into a fruit thang.

Okay, Rhonda, again… sorry for not calling back but turns out it was really good for ME to have to sit down and sort of hash this out! Haha! And well, it IS all about me, right?!!? Haha! Either way, this post is for you!!!

Update: Rhonda texted me a couple days after this post to let me know that she had lost 7 pounds but was gonna stay off the scale for the next month and a half! Blessings and peace to Rhonda!

Day 124: All Good

So, I just started this whole no bread and no chips “addition” to the covenant, and I thought that I’d talk about the first time the new rule made an issue… or was a learning moment for me.

Even though I posted about modifying the covenant a few days ago, it was actually on Sunday that I had the “revelation”… or at least that was the day that I made the decision. Well, my first thought was, “Oh, well, we are going to Texas Roadhouse for my brother’s dinner tonight and they have some wicked awesome rolls, so I think that I will wait until tomorrow to start the whole ” no bread” thing.”

And, thanks to the renewing… or at least to the process of renewing since I am by no means completely renewed yet… I immediately had the thought: “Oh, Come on, January! This is a deal with God. There is no waiting to follow the call of GOD ALMIGHTY just because you’d like to eat some BREAD at a restaurant!?!?!”

And I am reminded of Jonah… he very clearly heard the Word of God, and then… he did the opposite. Because that is what Jonah wanted to do. Just like me, I wanted to go out and eat bread even though I had clearly heard God tell me to do the opposite.

One day the Lord told Jonah, the son of Amittai, to go to the great city of Nineveh and say to the people, “The Lord has seen your terrible sins. You are doomed!” Instead, Jonah ran from the Lord. Jonah 1:1-3

Lucky for me, I have people like Jonah in the bible who didn’t listen to God… so I get to see that things don’t turn out so hot for those who disobey God and then I don’t have to make the same mistake. (Although, golly, how many times do I pull a “Jonah” and do the wrong thing anyway???) But, for once, and thanks to the renewing of my mind that has been going on for the past, ohhhhhhh, 123 days… I was able to make the right decision.

And there was one point at dinner when there was one roll left and my brother said, “Hey Jan, do you want that?” And I was able to say, “Nah, I’m all good.”

And I am…

…all good.

Thanks to God, I am alllllllllll gooooooood.