Day Thirty-Five: Chocolate Celebration Day (aka: Valentine’s Day)

Sooooooooo I kinda dropped off on my blogging for a few days there! Sorry to anyone that is reading these! Thirty days of blogging consistently was actually a pretty big accomplishment for me! I’ll try to catch up on those posts soon.

And actually, I was kinda not “feelin” the excitement of the whole covenant thing for those few days, so I was probably not as motivated to post. Which is weird because I had some great “weight” moments… like on Sunday, I fit into a skirt that I haven’t worn in five years! My “skinny” jeans have officially become baggy. My family all ate these glorious looking steaks on Saturday night (the same day that we had a big breakfast with bacon and pigs in a blanket)… and it really wasn’t difficult at all to not eat that stuff.

Maybe it’s a good thing though… the habits that I’m making now are starting to solidify and I didn’t really think about being on the covenant. Heck, even today (which some people might call Valentine’s Day, but to a dieter, it is really Chocolate Celebration Day, haha!) when I went to the store only to be confronted with a smorgasbord of chocolate and sugar delicacies, I was in no way tempted or even bummed out that I will “miss out” on all of that. Of course, it certainly gets my husband off the hook… he doesn’t have to run into a store and frantically try to find me a chocolate heart!

Maybe I made too big of a deal of chocolate in my mind cause my life has been completely fine without it! Annnnnnnnnd, I think this is why:

We’re being shown how to turn our backs on a godless, indulgent life, and how to take on a God-filled, God-honoring life. This new life is starting right now, and is whetting our appetites for the glorious day when our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, appears. He offered himself as a sacrifice to free us from a dark, rebellious life into this good, pure life, making us a people he can be proud of, energetic in goodness. Titus 2:11-14

There are just so many great things in these verses! And it is soooooo accurate.

God,
It feels so good today to be freed from that indulgent life. I have so longed, and still long, for my life to be God-filled and God-honoring. And the best part… this new life you have given me IS now! What a breath of freshness in my soul. Thank you… thank you for freeing me from my old dark, rebellious life… continue to push me toward this good, pure life. It is sooooooo much better. I want to be a person you can be proud of. I want to be energetic in my goodness. Change me, mold me. Thank you, God, for my new life. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Amen

Day Twenty-Five: Weighing Me Down

New addendum to my covenant: I’m not going to weigh myself anymore. Not until January 1, 2013. That process has got or be just as bad for me as chocolate.

When I weigh myself I have two responses:
1. Elation- if I lose as much as I hope or want then I’m so excited. And then there are two more responses that stem from this:

motivation- I get all pumped and do great for a few days “watching” what I eat.

overconfidence- I get so pumped that I feel like I don’t need to pay so much attention and I might let a few things “slip” in my diet cause I’m doing such a great job.

2. Depression- if I don’t lose as much as I want or hope then I feel bad about myself. I allow it to affect the way I view myself, and that, in turn, causes me to respond almost the same way:

motivation- I get all bummed out and do great for a few days “watching” what I eat so that I won’t feel bad again the next time.

underconfidence- I get so depressed that I didn’t do well enough and feel like I might as well give up.

And this is the kind of thing that I have done time and time again on diets. And I don’t want to diet anymore.

You see, each of those responses are… just that. Responses. I don’t want to respond to my weight. I don’t want to care about my weight. I only want to retrain my mind to make decisions based on what will glorify God. What will please Him.

And since I have been weighing, my mind is focused on my weight. On what that scale says. Not on the things of God. Not on His renewal of my heart and mind.

So, no more weighing in and no more being weighed down!

Day Twenty: No Comment

I have lost twelve pounds in the past few weeks. That’s a hunk of fat my friends. My jeans fit better. I am starting to eye those “skinny jeans” again. (Ironic isn’t it that what I consider my “skinny jeans” now used to be my “fat jeans”? Haha- it’s all perspective.) I feel better… seriously. I have started to figure out things like… my sugar is gonna cuh-rash in the afternoons and although for some reason my mind thinks “eat protein” what I really need is sugar. So I now eat an orange or a pear or something like that and I feel great. I guess just another example of me needing to retrain my mind.

But although I have lost twelve pounds no one has said a thing. Not a single comment of “Wow- are you losing weight?”

I bring this up NOT because I want someone to say “Wow- are you losing weight?” but because I DON’T want someone to say that. For I have recently discovered another area in which my mind and soul need some renewal.

In the past, I have gleaned so much motivation from people making comments about my weight loss. I would learn to thrive off of it.

Until… the comments stop. Ya know how it goes, you lose 10 or 15 pounds and everyone oohs and ahhs over you and then the comments start to decrease until they are gone. And with the comments goes the motivation.

See? Yet another area for renewal. That kind of dependence is placed in the wrong spot! That is dependence upon people’s opinions of me. And their love and adoration will always fail me. Yes, even my mom who is the number one person to tell me nice things about my weight or my hair or my smile… some random day when I “need” a comment she will not make one to me. And she shouldn’t need to! I shouldn’t need her comments in order to feel like I am amazing (although Mom, feel free to keep em coming if you want! Haha!).

You know why? I may be Beth Parker’s daughter on earth, but I’m an eternal princess. (Okay but I don’t mean that in some I’m-making-a-new-religion kind of way.)

I. am. the. daughter. of. THE. KING.

I am a daughter of The King Of The Universe. And He absolutely adores me.

I picture God sitting in heaven with His cheek leaning on His hand… watching me… smiling at me. Thinking how beautiful I am. Relishing in a moment when I look in the mirror and see the beauty that He sees. The inner beauty that has nothing to do with those twelve pounds. That has nothing to do with skinny jeans or fat jeans. That has nothing to do with commentary made by people.

The inner beauty of a daughter. Loved by her Father. Adored by her Father. Lavished with blessings by her Father.

So…no need to make a comment! I have all the comments from Him that I need.

See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! 1 John 3:1

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Day Sixteen: I Eat. I Eat. I Eat.

I eat when I’m bored. I eat when I’m curious. I eat when I’m emotional. I eat when I’m tired. I eat when I’m simply around food.

I eat. I eat. I eat.

Notice how I did not say I eat when I’m hungry. Aye. There’s the rub. But that is exactly when I should eat. When I’m hungry. Otherwise I’m attempting to satisfy a slew of other needs… entertainment, distraction, comfort, etc.

In doing so I am really railing against the system that God designed in my body. He was the one that put in the craving for food in the design of my body. Craving food does serve a purpose… a God given purpose. I’ve heard that this book, Made To Crave, addresses just that, and so did The Weigh Down Diet.

It is important for me to listen to my cravings… and I’m not just talking about chocolate. I think I “crave” sweet and I almost always default to chocolate, but now that I can’t have it I found myself craving pineapple last night! So I went to the store and got me some pineapple!

It is also important to eat when I am hungry. Again, that is a signal that God put into my body for a reason. I need to eat in order to maintain my body. Eating when I am not hungry though is almost an act of greed. An excessive desire for something. I want it for me even though I don’t need it. Yet God has still given me the choice to eat or not.

“I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial. 1 Corinthians 10:23

I know that eating when I’m not hungry although it might be “allowed”… it is not beneficial.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

And if I want to truly make God my focus and for eternity to become exaggerated, then I must eat… yes, even simply the act of eating… must be for the glory of God. Even if no one ever knows that I am eating, or not eating as the case may be, for the glory of God… I will know my reasons for eating. He will know my reasons for eating.

On that note: I’m starving and my baked potato is ready! Bon appétit!