Day 700: Stop. Collaborate. And Listen.

My husband said the other day,

“In the morning, I always know who I want to be and how I want to act and what I want to do. I know all of that in the morning. It’s maintaining that throughout the day that is the tough part.”

Then tonight, I thought the same thing as I was brushing my teeth. “Here I am at the end of my day, and I can look back and see all of the things I wish I’d done differently and I can look myself in the mirror and say ‘Tomorrow. Tomorrow I’ll be who I want to be. I’ll be what I want to be. I’ll act the way I want to act.‘”

But then tomorrow always comes, and despite all of my resolve, all of my willpower, all of my hope, and self-promises, and pep talks… despite all of that, I still find myself just sleep walking right back into the “old” me. The old-me who didn’t follow through on all of that resolve, willpower, hope, promises, pep talks.

Geez.

Way to be depressing, January.

But I’m always up for a little introspective conversation, so I asked myself, “Why? Why do I know who I want to be in the morning before the day starts, then sleep walk through the day making the SAME OL STINKING CHOICES AGAIN AND AGAIN, and then know who I should have been when it’s night again?

It’s like a can’t, or don’t… stop. I need to… I just need to… stop.”

And then, of course, what started to run through my mind?

The Covenant Diet - Stop Collaborate And Listen

Stop, collaborate, and listen.

Yep. That’s right. Vanilla Ice’s famous song began to run through my head.

But really. It’s so. totally. spot. on. to what I need to be doing with my life. with my eating. with my prayer.

I’ve got to stop.

And I mean literally, physically, spiritually…

STOP.

Honestly, I picture myself standing next to my fridge.

In my mind, I can see the candy buckets up on top.

And then I see myself, stopped.

Both hands on the edge of the counter.

Leaning over, looking down.

Stopped.

Praying.

Taking a deep breath.

And remembering again… remembering who I want to be. how I want to be. what I want to do.

Asking God to help make me into that image that I have in my mind.

Asking God to help make me into His image.

While I stop.

And ask God to stop with me.

And collaborate with me.

While I listen to Him.