Day 108: Healing Struggler

I went to a teacher’s conference at St. Mark’s School of Texas today (a brilliant place… we would love to send Pasco there, but we are…… ohhhhh about $25,000 short! Haha!). My English-teacher mentor Lynne Weber is there and even though I’m not in the classroom I still love to go. I left the day feeling revitalized and focused on how to help my boys reach their potential!

Okay but that has naught to do with food! But I did have a great moment there at lunch. I got their baked salmon and cauliflower along with a salad with blue cheese dressing and a cold broccoli salad. I wasn’t terribly hungry but being at a conference where you never really know when you might get struck down with hunger or when you’ll get to eat again, I usually would have eaten everything on my plate.

But I didn’t! I left 1/4 of the salmon there and some of the cauliflower. I did eat all of the cold broccoli salad cause it was delish! And I left quite a bit of my salad too. It was just a nice day to see myself not have to eat. I felt like a size 00 girl even though I’m still rollin in my size 12s.

And ya know. It just makes me think. Yesterday I was posting asking for prayer because of my struggles. Today I post because of happiness of a mind renewal having occurred.

A truth that I have to remember is that sometimes the changes in my life are not necessarily smooth. There are sometimes steps back. Sometimes steps forward. Somedays I am healed in my mind and heart. Some days I’m still a struggler.

On the days of struggle, I simply must remember this:

Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised. Hebrews 10:36

Day 103: Table For Two

Last night I had another cool “success” moment. My husband has been out of town this weekend and one of the ways that I “treat” myself when he leaves is not having to cook! So I get myself one of those Bertolli or P.F. Chang’s frozen meals where you dump them in a skillet and they are ready in like ten minutes and they taste uh.maz.ing. Well, they say on the package “meal for two” but every time I have gotten one in the past, I eat the whole thing.

Tonight though, I served myself half of it. Wowzers- it was gooood! And then when I finished my bowl I was like, “Whew, I’m full!” And then it sorta hit me… wow. I’m full. Again. And again, I’m not eating.

Now this might be kind of funny to someone who doesn’t really know my entire journey, but for a habitual overeater… having two back to back experiences of eating exactly how much she should eat… well, it’s pretty significant!

And… I just want to take a moment to praise God for that. On so many levels.

First of all, that his renewal of my mind has… worked. I mean, it’s not that I doubted it. Heck, obviously I had to believe that this would work… I signed on for this thing for a full year!!! But I think it’s even sweeter when you have faith that God will do something… and then He does! Gives a whole new level of awesomeness to:

Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:11

But also, I praise God for this place I live in. Sure, the American government is a little jacked up. Sure, there is sin everywhere and temptation and corruption.

But. I have never gone hungry because I could not get food. I have never had to sleep outside because I had no place to stay. I have never gone thirsty because the water had run dry.

This land… is amazing. And last night, I ate… and I was satisfied. And so today, I praise God for the good land He has given me.

When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you. Deuteronomy 8:10

Day 100: Don’t Stop When You’re Full

Day 100. Wow. I mean… I’m a little more than pleased to be here. I don’t think that I have ever tracked myself doing something for 100 days straight. Sooooo this is cool just on that level.

It is also cool because I decided, ohhhhhh, around day twenty-eight that when I got to the triple digits that I would start to put the day number in numerics instead of spelling them out. So now I don’t have to write the word “ninety” again… which I misspelled like three days in a row last week as “ninty” and had to go back and change it.

But what was cool today was that I did have myself a little celebration day before I even remembered it was day 100. I was celebrating though not because of how long I have been doing this but because I experienced the evidence of a mind renewal having happened in my mind.

I was eating this new pasta florentine dish that was yummay and then I was like “Oh wow- I’m full” and I just stopped eating… but it all happened sorta subconsciously. About fifteen or twenty minutes later, I realized what had happened and was doubly excited because not only was that evidence of a mind renewal but also because when I was feeling “full” it was actually me just being satiated… it was no where near what “full” would have been a few months ago.

So today I am totally living that verse…
I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

And when it comes to that kind of “full”… well, then I don’t ever want to stop!