Yesterday, I bit my cheek.
I’m telling you… that is some kind of heinous pain.
I don’t know why it hurts so terribly bad, but it hurts… terribly. bad.
Then of course, after you bite your cheek once then you bite it again. in the same place. over. and. over. and. over. again.
And that’s just what I did. over. and. over. and. over. again.
But today, it was a little better, and I didn’t bite my cheek.
Until, I ate when I wasn’t hungry… and I chomped down on my cheek like I was cracking a nut. And then I chomped down on it again, like thirty minutes later… again, when I wasn’t hungry but was eating anyway.
Now I’m not saying “God had me bite my cheek to teach me a lesson.”
But I’m also not denying it. All I know is that I ate twice when I wasn’t hungry and biting the snot out of my cheek sure did bring it to my attention. And, I’ll admit that later in the day when I was about to eat… again… when I wasn’t hungry… I remembered that cheek bite. And I remembered the pain. And I did not eat. I was like, “Ummmmm, I’m not hungry, so if I eat that sweet potato fry, then I bet you a zillion bucks that I will slice my cheek open again.”
And really… I was thinking… I used to focus on the pain of my past to help motivate me to lose weight, but this time… this time is different. This time I’m so focused on experiencing the goodness of God that I don’t focus on the pain of my past. In fact, I’ve almost started to feel separate from that girl. Like I’m truly losing my old self and gaining a new self… still me, but “shedding” my old skin, if you want a really gross comparison. And I think that this verse sorta hits what I’m feeling is happening…
If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it. Mark 8:35
I tried to hang on for so long to MY life… and I was losing… desperately. losing.
But once I gave over my life through this covenant to Christ, then it was like… in doing so I found my REAL life.
All the same, spiritual lesson learned… but I’m gonna bust out some of that Kanka stuff, because my cheek HURTS.