Day 304: Fauxfat

I’m getting in touch with the Shakespeare-within.

Although I will admit that I looked up the word “fauxfat” just to double check if it was real or not! Ha! Nope, it is my word!

fauxfat: noun. the areas on the body that appear too big (when mentally compared to air-brushed pictures of anorexic models) that cause a person to think they are really and truly fat but in truth are not: The beautiful woman looked in the mirror and saw nothing but her fauxfat.

I’m sure you can’t tell where this is going… but in essence, I was looking at myself in the mirror the other day and I was like, “Man, a month ago I was all pumped about the way my bod looked and today I look at it am a little disappointed.”

Now I’m honestly not sure what has changed in my mind. Although, truth be told, my body might be a little bit bigger than it was a month ago. I’ve been discussing about some of the struggles I’ve been waking through with temptations and not wanting to eat fruits or veggies. But I think, like, three days ago I was looking in the mirror thinking “Girl, you looking gooooood.” So, regardless of what my body really does look like, it was a mental thing this time.

The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. You judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at your heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

And I know this to be true. I know it. Why do I keep denying its truth???

I’ve actually learned it first and foremost from my friend Alice… she’s a skinny girl and likes to eat healthy (seriously, what is that about???? Hehe). But she also had issues with giving food the wrong place in her life. I may have “judged” her from the outside as having it all together, but her heart was having issues with food. And there is another girl at church that also looks like a model and a couple of weeks ago she was talking about her issues with sugar.

So, I know the heart is our true “image”, but how do I remind myself of that?

I think I need to just inundate myself with whatever scripture reminds me of truth. Maybe just for a few days and then find another because after a few days it starts to either seep in or just become “background noise” in my house.

Like, I’m going to write it on my mirror with a vis a vis marker. Put it on a random cabinet door in my kitchen (cause I know that I’ll ignore it if I out it on the fridge). Schedule in reminders on my phone calendar for random times during the day.

And maybe I can start to remember that I was made in His Image. And the only “fat” that matters is the excess of worldliness on my heart.

Guidance: What else can I do to help write a scripture on the tablet of my heart?

Day 120: Deserving Donuts

I was thinking a bit more on the topic of “deserving” food after my post yesterday. It is something that I can hear myself saying… to myself… deep in my subconscious. I don’t think that my consciousness would really allow me to say it anymore because, well, I have a different look now on… deserving.

Let me look at what I really deserve…

yeah. nothing.

I’m lucky that God chose to allow me into Heaven, but do I deserve it? Nope.

I’m lucky that God gave me a great husband and two wonderful children, but do I deserve them? Nope.

I’m lucky that God placed me in a beautiful, well-constructed home with fresh running clean water, but do I deserve that? Nope.

Because for every “great” thing I have done, there have been just as many moments of decrepitness in my heart. For every kindness I have shown, I have felt selfish and wronged. For every gentle moment I spend, there as has been rage and envy and jealousy.

So, for every night I have spent up with Saxon that I thought might should have “earned” me a donut as a “prize”… I have kept my husband awake with my snoring, or my tossing and turning, or my sleep talking. Do I deserve to have anything special then? No.

But so often the brownie batter, or cookie dough, or bag of Oreos, or sour cream chocolate covered donuts, or whatever that I would eat… was more pleasurable because I felt like I was “treating” myself to something that I “deserved”. But God is the one that gives us… everything. And not because we deserve it… but for a whole different purpose…

“Therefore, give the people of Israel this message from the Sovereign LORD: I am bringing you back, but not because you deserve it. I am doing it to protect my holy name, on which you brought shame while you were scattered among the nations. Ezekiel 36:22

If God chooses to bless me… it’s not because of ME… it’s because of Him. Which is really kind of cool… that means that it is not about what I do or don’t do… a blessing from Him is to protect his holy name. I actually kind of like that better… takes the pressure off of me!

So, really, whenever I do something I think is “deserving”… then I should remember this about when I will receive what I deserve for the “good” I have done…

For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body. 2 Corinthians 5:10

And really, if I have to choose between receiving a reward now in the form of a donut or in the form of an eternal blessing from GOD ALMIGHTY? Well, then, I’ll just have to pass on those donuts for today.

Day Sixty-Three: Written For Me

I was reading through Romans last week and I came across this chapter. I totally said to myself, “This chapter sounds like it was written for me!”

So I’ll go through this chapter and make comments in between each part of the scripture.

Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong. For instance, one person believes it’s all right to eat anything. But another believer with a sensitive conscience will eat only vegetables.

Oooooo, apparently I have a “sensitive conscience”! Wow… sounds fancy. But I will say that my “sensitive conscience” is only “scheduled” to last a year!

Those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don’t. And those who don’t eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them. Who are you to condemn someone else’s servants? Their own master will judge whether they stand or fall. And with the Lord’s help, they will stand and receive his approval.

And even though I don’t right now “judge” or “condemn” people that don’t follow the same thing as me, I can see how as I lose weight more and more this might become a temptation for me. Since I do know that it is working and I do think that it is awesome. I am afraid that my zealousness to help someone else break free from their chains might be misconstrued as me glorifying myself or nay-saying their diet. When I know that it is not what I’m eating that is making the difference (although I do think that it is good stuff), but that God is changing my heart and mind.

In the same way, some think one day is more holy than another day, while others think every day is alike. You should each be fully convinced that whichever day you choose is acceptable. Those who worship the Lord on a special day do it to honor him. Those who eat any kind of food do so to honor the Lord, since they give thanks to God before eating. And those who refuse to eat certain foods also want to please the Lord and give thanks to God.

I love how this brings the focus back away from the food itself and to honoring God through my choices. It is a good reminder of what I am really doing… trying to honor God. Through my sacrifice and even just through allowing Him to be the one to “fix” me instead of relying upon myself. I don’t know… I think, based on reading through the Old Testament, that God really likes it when we attribute any of our abilities to Him.

For we don’t live for ourselves or die for ourselves. If we live, it’s to honor the Lord. And if we die, it’s to honor the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. Christ died and rose again for this very purpose—to be Lord both of the living and of the dead.

I lovvvvvvvvve this part: “If we live, it’s to honor the Lord. And if we die, it’s to honor the Lord.” That sounds like it should be in a movie or something with some guy wearing war paint on his face (a la Braveheart)!  I just want to say that with my fist up in the air like in a power stance!

So why do you condemn another believer? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God.

Ouch. That’s not entirely a pleasant reminder, and yet it’s one that I have been thinking on a lot lately…

For the Scriptures say, “`As surely as I live,’ says the Lord, `every knee will bend to me, and every tongue will confess and give praise to God.’”

Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God. So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall.

Good call… this is a good summary of how to change my heart… live in such a way that I will not cause another believer to stumble. That means that I must be gracious in my speech. gentle. kind. understanding.

I know and am convinced on the authority of the Lord Jesus that no food, in and of itself, is wrong to eat. But if someone believes it is wrong, then for that person it is wrong. And if another believer is distressed by what you eat, you are not acting in love if you eat it. Don’t let your eating ruin someone for whom Christ died. Then you will not be criticized for doing something you believe is good. For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

BAM! That’s the money right there… it is all about living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Amen and Amen!

If you serve Christ with this attitude, you will please God, and others will approve of you, too. So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up.

Again, what can I do to build up my brothers and sisters? Serve Christ with the attitude of living a life of goodness, peace, and joy.

Don’t tear apart the work of God over what you eat. Remember, all foods are acceptable, but it is wrong to eat something if it makes another person stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything else if it might cause another believer to stumble. You may believe there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God. Blessed are those who don’t feel guilty for doing something they have decided is right. But if you have doubts about whether or not you should eat something, you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning.

Ooooooo, this will be one to remember when the covenant is “over”: if you have doubts if you should eat something, you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. Eating what I know is wrong IS a sin. Point blank. As much as I don’t want that to be true… it is. Right there. In the Word. And sinning does not please God. Sinning does not get blessing. Sinning gets not-so-pretty consequences.

So, I think in summary, I’m going to go back to verse 17: For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. He says that is the matter of the Kingdom of God… I think I prefer to think about the Kingdom of God more than anything here on earth, like food. That is what I want my mind to move from… from food thoughts to Kingdom thoughts.

(Romans 14:1-23)