Day 133: Face To Facebook

I haven’t been very… good… about taking “real” pictures of my kids the past several months.

Okay, so I have been horrible about it. My iPhone is just so totally convenient, so I never remember to take my “real” camera… and I kept forgetting to charge it whenever I would take it to an “event”. Thank goodness my mother goes to most of the “big” events in my life and she always remembers her camera, so I often just piggy back off of her pics!

Anyway, I did finally charge my camera and take pics at my son’s preschool graduation and at my toddler’s birthday! And I was just so stinking proud of myself that I put them on Facebook (which I also haven’t done an official “album” in a while… most of my pics are mobile upload pics)!

Well, in doing so, I had to go through and choose which pictures I wanted, because… come on. Let’s all be honest here. It don’t matter if there are 37 people in a picture and alllllll of them look fabulous… if I don’t look good then it’s not a good pic. Haha! So, I went through and weeded through some of the less desirable pics of me and others there.

And my emotions at looking at pics of myself were a little back and forth. I’d look at myself in one picture and think, “Wow. I look way skinnier than I realized” and then five seconds later I would look at a pic and think, “Wow… I’m not nearly as far along as I thought.”

But what I think is cool… is that those thoughts just sorta… ended… right there. I just stopped thinking about how I looked and went on with my day. I more so enjoyed all the comments that people were making about my precious boys in the pics having fun. And it wasn’t like I consciously had to think, “Now January… you are beautiful just the way you are.” It was more like my thoughts ran subconsciously but more in this vein: “Now January… The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

And I love that it was subconscious… that I never really thought about the fact that I was feeling “unconcerned” about my looks. I was just… well… unconcerned! To look back on that now at the end of the day, well, it’s just… cool. In fact, I’m kinda smiling to myself right now. Kinda… feeling the joy.

I take joy in doing your will, my God, for your instructions are written on my heart. Psalm 40:8

Day Twenty: No Comment

I have lost twelve pounds in the past few weeks. That’s a hunk of fat my friends. My jeans fit better. I am starting to eye those “skinny jeans” again. (Ironic isn’t it that what I consider my “skinny jeans” now used to be my “fat jeans”? Haha- it’s all perspective.) I feel better… seriously. I have started to figure out things like… my sugar is gonna cuh-rash in the afternoons and although for some reason my mind thinks “eat protein” what I really need is sugar. So I now eat an orange or a pear or something like that and I feel great. I guess just another example of me needing to retrain my mind.

But although I have lost twelve pounds no one has said a thing. Not a single comment of “Wow- are you losing weight?”

I bring this up NOT because I want someone to say “Wow- are you losing weight?” but because I DON’T want someone to say that. For I have recently discovered another area in which my mind and soul need some renewal.

In the past, I have gleaned so much motivation from people making comments about my weight loss. I would learn to thrive off of it.

Until… the comments stop. Ya know how it goes, you lose 10 or 15 pounds and everyone oohs and ahhs over you and then the comments start to decrease until they are gone. And with the comments goes the motivation.

See? Yet another area for renewal. That kind of dependence is placed in the wrong spot! That is dependence upon people’s opinions of me. And their love and adoration will always fail me. Yes, even my mom who is the number one person to tell me nice things about my weight or my hair or my smile… some random day when I “need” a comment she will not make one to me. And she shouldn’t need to! I shouldn’t need her comments in order to feel like I am amazing (although Mom, feel free to keep em coming if you want! Haha!).

You know why? I may be Beth Parker’s daughter on earth, but I’m an eternal princess. (Okay but I don’t mean that in some I’m-making-a-new-religion kind of way.)

I. am. the. daughter. of. THE. KING.

I am a daughter of The King Of The Universe. And He absolutely adores me.

I picture God sitting in heaven with His cheek leaning on His hand… watching me… smiling at me. Thinking how beautiful I am. Relishing in a moment when I look in the mirror and see the beauty that He sees. The inner beauty that has nothing to do with those twelve pounds. That has nothing to do with skinny jeans or fat jeans. That has nothing to do with commentary made by people.

The inner beauty of a daughter. Loved by her Father. Adored by her Father. Lavished with blessings by her Father.

So…no need to make a comment! I have all the comments from Him that I need.

See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! 1 John 3:1

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