Because I’ve been sick (yes, still), I came out to my parents house. After getting over a bout of tummy troubles this time, I was, needless to say, hungry. I mean I have only had like yogurt and fruit since Saturday because that was all I could stand to swallow. So, my body was aching for some calories.
So I had a delish baked potato for dinner and then out of habit I went searching for a goodie for dessert. You see, my parents house symbolizes a place of relaxation… comfort… safety… and for so long I have associated all three of those things with eating. (And my mom is an incredible baker and so when she makes some kind of dessert it’s for sure gonna be irresistible.)
So I have come to associate visiting their house with some kind of decadent treat that I can’t get at my own house.
Ice cream. Homemade chocolate chip cookies. Pringles. Candy. Diet Cokes. Coco Krispies. As much as I’d like to deny it, in the past one of the first things I would wonder about when we made plans to go over there would be if she had Oreos or not.
I’m going to see my parents, the people who gave me life and have continued to sacrifice for me time and time again, and all I can think is: I wonder if there are Oreos in the pantry?!?!?!
There’s just something not right about that. This is the woman that I want this fast to help me leave behind.
I truly long to get invited over and not care about her food supply. I want to go over to their house and casually dip into their over abundance of fruit and veggies that are there all the time… bananas, apples, grapes, often a cut melon in the fridge, peaches, avocados, tomatoes, broccoli, corn.
That house is Home Sweet Home for far many more reasons than Oreos. And I want it to be that for me again.
Now I know that this verse might appear as a bit of a stretch to relate to this post but as I was searching for some verse about family or the home this one popped up and sorta grabbed my attention because it’s really something that I’m thinking.
I will be careful to live a blameless life— when will you come to help me? I will lead a life of integrity in my own home.
Psalm 101:2 NLT
I do want to live a life of integrity in my own home (and we can count my parents house as my own home too since I still feel that way about it) and sneaking food is not an act of integrity.
See? This is so not a “diet” and it is so not about losing weight. There are some major other issues underlying that I am so excited to see what kind of inner-person God will mold me into by the time this fast is over!
So here is my prayer today:
God, I want to be careful to live a blameless life— will you come to help me? I want to lead a life of integrity in my own home. Please come help me.