Day 351: Last Days

“Today is the last day. Then tomorrow I’ll get back on the wagon.”

Ohhhhhhhh, how many, many, mannnny times I have said that to myself. And said it to myself while eating something “wrong”. And, well, today was one of those days. It’s like I’m skipping past rationalization and just admitting to myself, “Okay, so I’m just gonna go ahead and sin today and then tomorrow I’ll get righteous again.”

So, I stood in my kitchen and ate my fourth muffin of the day after polishing off four biscuits from yesterday’s breakfast and said to myself “Today is the last day. Then tomorrow I’ll get back on the wagon.” And I might have added a little “It’s Christmas, after all” there at the end as well.

Santa's Food

Only, it’s not Christmas.

And, who cares? Even if it IS Christmas… why would that mean I should or could eat four muffins and four biscuits in addition to everything else I’d eaten for the day!?!?!

I dunno… maybe it’s that mindset of “Every day is a new day.”

But really, it’s not like all of those sins are washed away. I mean, yes, we sing that song. And, yes, when I meet up with God and am asked to account for my life, all of those sins will have been “paid for”. But, there will still be an accounting. I will sit with Christ and account for every moment of my life. every seed of hate. every wisp of gossip. every slide of laziness. every bite of gluttony.

And it’s not that I want to feel bad or guilty for those things… it’s that I want to choose good. I want to choose holiness. I want to choose righteousness. and purity. and power.

I want for those to be the things He sees.

In those true last days before I start my eternity in worship, I want for Him to sit with me and see the choices I made and look in my eyes and say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant… Let’s celebrate together!Matthew 25:23

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RANDOM ADDITION: By the way, I live in Texas… and we had snow… on. Christmas. Day. (I actually don’t like to go IN the snow, but it is pretty to look at and my oldest son thinks the stuff is awesome!) I stuck my head out in the stuff for about .4 seconds to get a pic of me in it! Ha!

Christmas Snow

Day Eighty-Three: Good Food Begets Good Food

We went out to my parent’s house on Sunday for a “pre-Easter” because they will be out of town on Easter. My mom, in true southern woman form, made an awesome prEaster meal: ham (which everyone else said was amazing), roasted veggies, buttered baby new potatoes, salad, and crescent rolls. I had a beautiful plate of the veggies, potatoes, and salad… she has been so kind to consider my dietary needs and make sure that I have enough to eat at every family meal.

Well, let me tell you. The woman made these potatoes that were off the reservation… in other words, they were uh.maz.ing. Now, I have always had an affinity for potatoes… I like them even completely plain (although I cannot abide a microwaved potato… they just don’t taste the same). But these were truly scrumptious. I found myself fighting off some of my old habits of slinking back in to pop another in my mouth after we were all finished eating, and another, and another. I just had to remind myself that God has given me self-control.

All of that wasn’t just to lust after potatoes for a few minutes, but instead to point out that it was a really, really good meal of good food, good spices, good flavors. And today when I ran into the store with my son to get his class’s Easter eggs, I couldn’t help but grab some broccoli. I started thinking about dinner prep and I kinda got excited about making another gooooood dinner.

And I did make a good dinner… cedar grilled tilapia for my husband (which I can’t wait to try next week when I am off of my Lent fast), broccoli with a pepper lime butter sauce, and garlic mashed yukon potatoes. It was… goooood. And the nice thing about a yummy and good quality meal is that it is not only nutritionally fulfilling, but also craving fulfilling, AND emotionally/mentally fulfilling. I don’t have to fight off the mental urges of having had a sub par dinner… thoughts like “That wasn’t enough.” or “That wasn’t good.” or whatever. I was able to walk away from the table and totally and completely forget about food.

And having been able to just write those words makes me smile. Oh how far we’ve come Jesus, oh how far we’ve come.