Day 225: Limitation Station

Day 1 off of my hard-core Daniel Fast.

No, I promise I’m not gonna count every day of the days that I’ve been “off” my hard-core fast, but today it is kind of important. The days following a fast when I institute food back into my diet are often precarious.

I have been a bit nervous about adding back in coffee (and excited too… not for the buzz but because I have been missing the flavor!) and bread… cause I have been having some issues with bread the past few months.

So I had a cup of coffee this morning! And please note: I had a cup of coffee this morning. Not two. Not three not four, five, six. But a cup! It was delish!

Actually. Falsehood. It wasn’t delish. I mean. It was good. Now, I had it after the boys woke up so I didn’t really get to sit and enjoy it like I usually do before they wake up. I had to reheat it twice, but still… it was good. But mostly I was happy that I limited myself to one cup!

And then during my typical hot spot, I did my prayer time so no worries there. But about 3:00 I got hungry. Needless to say, I need to go to the store so we had like nothing covenant-worthy in the house.

Waiiiiit. Falsehood. Again.

Maybe that’s what I “told” myself but truth be known, there is an apple, a clementine, raisins, peanuts, peanut butter, beans, and several other things had I really looked. But I have been limited to those things for the past few weeks and I wanted… something. else.

So I made my “granola bar in a bowl”. It’s very filling and I really enjoy the flavors. But it can be a “dessert” substitute if I’m not careful.

So, I realized pretty quickly. Okay, if I “turned” to this on day one and I know I shouldn’t have it every day, then this might need to be a thing that I put a limitation on. So, I decided that I can have it once a week. And even just deciding that made me feel better!

It’s weird, too, when I think about it that the longer I’m on the covenant, the more limitations I want to put on myself. I guess the covenant experience has shown me that my true happiness and freedom are found as I bind myself to God. Limitations are no longer something to be feared. or dreaded. Limitation is something that I embrace because it gives me freedom from stressing about those things. freedom from the spiritual war. When I limit myself, I feel as if I have already won the battle! That is a wonderful feeling!

And this verse totally struck my mind… it totally expresses the journey that I have gone on this year:

    Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 7:24

Day 170: Pantry Pinings

I haven’t wanted fruit the past week. Like… at. all. Veggies? Nope. Not so much.

Pantry food? Ohhhhhhhh yeah.

And I have this sort of… numb… feeling about honoring God right now. Pretty sure that it is an aftermath of not reading the bible religiously (i.e. habitually) and not really praying for a couple of weeks. But nonetheless, gotta get my focus back. I need to care about honoring God. I mean it’s not that I’m breaking the covenant (although I got realllllllll close to that line this morning when I made the boys “Cookie Dough Soup”… essentially oatmeal with brown sugar and chocolate chips… and Saxon didn’t want his and I was super hungry so I ate “around” the chocolate chips… ya know, the ones that had melted making it virtually impossible to eat “around” them), but I’m not at all worried about making choices that please Him, or choices that are beneficial, or eating to live instead of living to eat.

And I asked my friend Alice to pray for me because I was really struggling (and honestly I’m writing this on day 173 and I’m still struggling with it), and she said that she didn’t really have any major wisdom for me, but she did say “He’s got this.”

And that’s pretty much the reminder that I needed at that moment. Did I immediately start craving an apple instead of a bowl of granola bathed in almond milk? Nooooooo, but it was a start. And then yesterday, I came across this verse in my regular bible reading and it really struck me as what I’m asking for at this point (I changed it to a prayer, by the way)…

God, please work in me. Give me the desire and the power to do what pleases You. Philippians 2:13