Day 141: The Impossible Life

The other day as I went shopping, I started trying to figure out how long I had been on the covenant in “months”. I write down every day what day I am on but for a non-math person I have to take a moment to divide by 30… and even then I usually abandon that method and just count the months since January 11th when I started.

So by that method I am a little past four months. Cool!

And then it hit me. Had I only done 3 months like I originally planned then I would have been finished with the covenant last month. And I would have missed out on the last month of blessings.

Day 93: Fallen And Forgiven
Day 106: He Is.
Day 117: HE WILL DO THIS!
Day 118: Trippin
Day 132: A Celebration Of Life
Day 136: A Fast Shopping Trip

And looking back at those days I am so glad that I chose to stick to God for a full year. Or I should say that I am so grateful that He called me to stick by Him for a full year.

Honestly it makes me wonder what my life would/could be like if I chose to do this covenant indefinitely. I mean… when I first started I would have thought it was nigh impossible to stay on this covenant for five years, twenty years, the rest of my life… but now I honestly have a lot less respect for the word impossible.

Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.” Matthew 19:26

Last year at this time I was sifting through my clothes and giving away almost all my size 8s, 10s, and 12s that I had been keeping in hopes that I would some day get skinny again. I was, in essence, giving up.

Last year, I did not really understand that what has happened was actually possible with God. Because, yes humanly speaking, me… being frees from food… it was impossible at that point. There was nothing that was gonna work to that end.

But, now I see… when you have the power of God on your side, and when you allow God to work His Power inside of you… really, really, really… ev.ery.thing. is possible.

It sorta makes me want to, like, take on the world! It makes me realize that this covenant diet is minuscule compared to what He can really do. And yet this covenant diet is the biggest thing that I have ever seen God do in my life.

Looks like I have an impossible life coming my way!

Day Twenty-Five: Weighing Me Down

New addendum to my covenant: I’m not going to weigh myself anymore. Not until January 1, 2013. That process has got or be just as bad for me as chocolate.

When I weigh myself I have two responses:
1. Elation- if I lose as much as I hope or want then I’m so excited. And then there are two more responses that stem from this:

motivation- I get all pumped and do great for a few days “watching” what I eat.

overconfidence- I get so pumped that I feel like I don’t need to pay so much attention and I might let a few things “slip” in my diet cause I’m doing such a great job.

2. Depression- if I don’t lose as much as I want or hope then I feel bad about myself. I allow it to affect the way I view myself, and that, in turn, causes me to respond almost the same way:

motivation- I get all bummed out and do great for a few days “watching” what I eat so that I won’t feel bad again the next time.

underconfidence- I get so depressed that I didn’t do well enough and feel like I might as well give up.

And this is the kind of thing that I have done time and time again on diets. And I don’t want to diet anymore.

You see, each of those responses are… just that. Responses. I don’t want to respond to my weight. I don’t want to care about my weight. I only want to retrain my mind to make decisions based on what will glorify God. What will please Him.

And since I have been weighing, my mind is focused on my weight. On what that scale says. Not on the things of God. Not on His renewal of my heart and mind.

So, no more weighing in and no more being weighed down!