Day 400: Mirror | rorriM

I’ve been really contemplating how to honor God this Lent season (yes, I know it’s supposed to be Lenten but that word just makes me think of lentils and that word just gives me the willies). And so I decided to give up Facebook for the 40 Days (although I “lent” on Sundays too cause I don’t do so hot on days “off” of things). But that seemed so… well, so not enough this year. Not only did I want to sacrifice something but I also wanted to offer up something. (Especially after reading mignonpanache’s post about Lent when she mentioned the idea of “mirroring” Christ for these forty days. I mean- in His Life, of course he sacrificed so much but He also GAVE so much and He continually pointed our attention to GOD. And I want to mirror that!

How ironic that my sacrifice (Facebook) would be so similar to the thing I “offer” to Him… cause it’s on Twitter. Ha!

I follow this blog called Fat Pastor. And can I admit that I totally followed it because the name was just kinda strikingly funny to me??? Anyway, in this post, he brought up this thing he’s doing on twitter from @umrethinkchurch where you post a pic a day based off of these words that they posted and hash tag it #40Days and #rethinkchurch. (f you aren’t on twitter you could just as easily blog these or journal them to yourself in the form of words or on facebook or with {gasp} REAL PHOTOS. Here’s the order…

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And already today it has refocused my mind on Him! At first I was like “Why would focusing on ME the first day be a good way to get me into all of this?”

And then I remembered just who I am IN CHRIST. And it was a refreshing reminder.

20130213-184508.jpgAnd here was the pic that I posted for the day…

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sins. imperfections. goofiness. burdens. filth. exhaustion. happiness. reality.

All of it is the real me. And the real me… is a saved me.

And at the end of the day, that is what matters.

That is what His Walk To The Cross was all about.

Day 169: The Neverending Covenant

Being public about the covenant has been one of the best things for me. Time and time again I have the motivation to make the right choices, the God-honoring choices, because I know that I have people that care about me reading.

But the other day I realized another important truth about this covenant. Because I “went public”, this covenant is no longer just… my… covenant. I chose to share it with hundreds of people… originally in an effort to make myself accountable to others. And that is still a big motivation. But it has also become a help to people. I guess it’s encouraging for people to see someone else struggling with the same issues… to know that we are not alone.

Like, on Facebook when another mom posts a pic of her kids and in the background I can see toys littered all around, dishes piled up in the kitchen, and a laundry basket overflowing with clothes to be folded… well, I just feel so much better! Oh, it’s not just me. It’s not just my house. It’s not just my family. my mistakes. my craziness. my mess. my life. I’m not alone!

And I think that my covenant offers that to some people… a look inside a part of my soul that we spend such emotional effort trying to conceal. That part that we are ashamed of. But I do my best to take a look at my soul every day and take a snapshot of what it really looks like. Some days it’s nice and clean. Some days it’s just a little mess. Some days… it’s a total absolute wreck.

And that’s yet another part of this covenant that makes it so much more than just a “diet”. The connection that I have made with so many of you can’t just end on January 1st. And the connection that I have made with God can’t just end on January 1st either.

But what really struck me the most the other day was that verse…

When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required. Luke 12:48

And it made me realize… I have been entrusted with this gift of freedom and with the knowledge of how to get that freedom from food. I thought that a year would originally be my only “requirement” but now I see that I can’t stop this covenant. I can’t just go back to normal again eating ribeyes, and ice cream, and cookie dough, and a dozen breadsticks, and, and, and. I can’t just gain weight back when I’m off of this… it’s not just “some diet”… it’s a covenant with God that I have had. A Change of life… of soul… of heart. I can’t just go back.

And, honestly, I don’t want to.

Day Sixty-Nine: Vice Versa

One of the things that I have to watch out for whenever I start to get closer to Jesus: self-righteousness.

Which is totally backwards because he was quite the opposite of self-righteous. He attributed everything to God. But, nonetheless, I start to think of myself as better than others.

And I am brought down a bit today as I remember that it was only like two months ago that I was buried. drowning. suffocating. in my own addiction and vice. An addiction that I wanted to be rid of, but couldn’t shake it off.

I have a friend that drinks quite a bit and smokes occasionally and I am horribly impatient with her addictions. Perhaps because her addictions affect me. Like, my overeating never really affected anyone. Maybe it disappointed my husband or embarrassed my parents, but…

Ya know… I’m gonna stop myself right there. I say that my overeating never affected anyone and then I list three people that I know were affected by it. See?!?!?! This is an example of what I’m talking about. I have this self-righteousness that isn’t even deserved!

I think I am going to enjoy God working on this part of my heart. I would love to be renewed in the way I view my fellow strugglers. And in typical God fashion… as soon as I made this realization about myself, the verses started appearing. This one in particular was part of my reading plan this past week and grabbed my attention:

For what gives you the right to make such a judgment? What do you have that God hasn’t given you? And if everything you have is from God, why boast as though it were not a gift? 1 Corinthians 4:7

And that’s the thing… I have no right to stand here (even if I am all by myself) and look down on anyone, but especially on someone that is struggling. Whether they know the are struggling or not. Whether they want to be struggling or not. Whether they know how to be free or not. My freedom was… a gift. A gift from God.

And so what should my mind do instead? Instead, I want to pray that God gives them that gift as well. I want… desperately want… for my dear friend to be free of that vice, that stronghold, that addiction. And so I pray that God may break the chains and gift my friend with that freedom. For, I know… I have learned… that there is no other way to freedom than through a gift from God.

But my judgment will not get her or any of my other friends closer to freedom. But perhaps my prayers… will get her closer.

Day Thirty-Seven: God Post

Today is not a post about eating or not eating.
Today is not a post about my struggles and my successes.
Today is not a post about… today, or yesterday, or the day before.

Today is a post about tomorrow… or the next day… or next week… next month… next year.

When I’m depressed, anxious, worried, happy, emotional, whatever…

Are you tired? Worn out? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me… watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly. Matthew 11:28-30

Dang. There are just some verses that don’t really need to be expounded upon… and that is one of them. So, some day down the road when life is just… icky… I will have those verses to remember.

When I want to quit or bend the rules or ignore my covenant…

Let’s not allow ourselves to get worn out doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up or quit. Galatians 6:9

Yes… right! Buttttttt, wait. How do I “not allow myself to get worn out”? Well…

Those who trust in God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, they run and don’t get tired, they walk and don’t lag behind.Isaiah 40:31

And another encouragement…

I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and peace of heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.John 14:27

So, I know that I didn’t really say anything new… but today was just one of those days where I really didn’t think that I was supposed to say anything. Today, I let God do a “guest post” on my blog. Haha!