Day 153: Search Party

Am I eating too much?
Would this food honor God?
Why am I eating right now?
Is this food becoming a new “addiction”?

Ya know, so much of the success of this “diet” has had little to do with the actual food choices that I have made and far more to do with looking inside myself and really evaluating myself. I think that I knew pretty early that it wasn’t the food that was really the problem… cause when I looked at my basic diet it really wasn’t that bad… it was the “extras” (sugar, chocolate, bread, chips, etc) that were really getting to me, but I was never eating the “extras” because I was hungry and rarely was I eating them because I craved them… I was eating them for a slew of reasons that were in my heart and my soul and my mind.

And multiple times throughout this experience I have had to do some real honest looking at myself. Cause I honestly thought that once I cut out sugar and chocolate that my issues would be over. I don’t think I realized how much I was overeating as well on just regular foods nor did I realize that chips and bread really were issues for me as well.

So, as I would realize that I wasn’t losing weight (back when I was weighing) or that I wasn’t getting into any smaller sizes, then I have had to look at my life and my eating and my motivations and my thoughts and my Bible reading and my emotions and my… me. But all I have had to do was allow God to search me and show me what was going on. I may have fought it (like right now I am having a “discussion” with Him about dairy… and wouldn’t ya know, my favorite brand of feta cheese was OUT at Sam’s when I went today… in the year that I have been shopping there it has NEVER been out!) and I might not have chosen to add it to my covenant right away, but He always seems to show me.

And again I think that this is a part of the covenant diet that is going to spill over into other areas of my life… because I am learning a) that He will show me if there is something that offends Him, and b) that He will then lead me along the path of everlasting life… in essence, He will show me what to do. He will conquer it. He will purify me.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. Psalm 139:23-24

The only “danger” here is that, like I said, He will show me if there is something that offends Him… but then He really expects me to do something about it. Now, I fully believe that only God can conquer habitual addictive sins. But He expects me to do what I can to help my earthly body to get away from that sin. For example, I knew that God would be the only one that could conquer my addiction to sugar, but my part was to make the deal with Him to give it up in the first place. I know that God can help me to find more self-motivation to do my work around the house, but first I’m going to have to commit to Him that I will make choices with my time to honor Him.

So, if He shows one of us that a certain food is an issue that needs to be added to our covenant, then we do it. If He shows us that although we agreed to only fast Monday-Saturday, that we need to add Sundays to the covenant agreement, then we do it (you know who you are- haha!).

But first, we must ask God to show us. reveal our true selves. test us. try us. know us. and the best part… lead us.

Day 142: Got Almond?

20120529-144011.jpg

I think that everyone has “those” foods that are areas of temptation, or weakness, or just plain old habit. Most people list things like sugar (cough, cough… chocolate) or salt. But a lot of people also have drinks as an issue… Route 44 Dr. Pepper is one I hear a lot, mocha frap from Starbucks, etc. For me… it’s milk. Good, fatty, whole milk. Back when I used to work out I would have a glass after a good run when most people would drink water. My best friend used to tease me about coming over and having a glad of milk and a handful of Hot Tamales candies. In fact, her mom kept them stocked with both for when I would come over… which was often.

So, when I made my covenant, I knew that milk would have to go as well. Even though I could have dairy… milk was just… well, almost a dessert to me. Certainly a treat, and definitely an avoidance to drinking water. (I know it’s weird, but water has never really been that “awesome” to me… maybe cause I was always drinking milk instead!)

Well, the other day I was in a bit of a daze as I was making my coffee (which is not entirely that odd seeing as how I am half-asleep when I make my coffee most mornings), and I poured whole milk into the mix instead of the almond milk that I have in my coffee every other morning. Once I realized it, I wasn’t going to pour out that precious milk (two young boys in the house… we go through a lot of milk) or the even more precious… coffee (two young boys in the house… need I say more?). So I drank the coffee with whole milk in it. No biggie.

It was actually kind of gross.

I mean… in comparison to my coffee with almond milk, which has like… flavor. It was kind of cool though how this life of sacrifice is actually better than my normal life. Again like I mentioned yesterday, I would have missed out on a lot of things, both spiritual and “earthly” if I had not done this covenant.

And honestly, I’m not sure of a scripture to put with this one (comment below if one comes to your mind). It just makes me think of how we just don’t see… the whole picture. And by that I mean, there I was for years thinking that whole milk was kind of the end all be all for drinking in coffee. But… it wasn’t. There was something better out there.

And I think that is what this covenant has shown me… there is so much about this world that I haven’t discovered, and might not ever discover… without God showing me. But it took me committing to Him, allowing Him to break down this wall inside of me… in order for me to see that the grass IS indeed greener on the other side if HE is the one that takes you there.

It just makes me want to covenant with Him about… everything! So that He can show me how lame my “whole milk life” is (that I thought was oh-so great)… and reveal to me how amazing an “almond milk” kind of life can be (which I don’t even know exists)!