Day 170: Pantry Pinings

I haven’t wanted fruit the past week. Like… at. all. Veggies? Nope. Not so much.

Pantry food? Ohhhhhhhh yeah.

And I have this sort of… numb… feeling about honoring God right now. Pretty sure that it is an aftermath of not reading the bible religiously (i.e. habitually) and not really praying for a couple of weeks. But nonetheless, gotta get my focus back. I need to care about honoring God. I mean it’s not that I’m breaking the covenant (although I got realllllllll close to that line this morning when I made the boys “Cookie Dough Soup”… essentially oatmeal with brown sugar and chocolate chips… and Saxon didn’t want his and I was super hungry so I ate “around” the chocolate chips… ya know, the ones that had melted making it virtually impossible to eat “around” them), but I’m not at all worried about making choices that please Him, or choices that are beneficial, or eating to live instead of living to eat.

And I asked my friend Alice to pray for me because I was really struggling (and honestly I’m writing this on day 173 and I’m still struggling with it), and she said that she didn’t really have any major wisdom for me, but she did say “He’s got this.”

And that’s pretty much the reminder that I needed at that moment. Did I immediately start craving an apple instead of a bowl of granola bathed in almond milk? Nooooooo, but it was a start. And then yesterday, I came across this verse in my regular bible reading and it really struck me as what I’m asking for at this point (I changed it to a prayer, by the way)…

God, please work in me. Give me the desire and the power to do what pleases You. Philippians 2:13

Day Sixty-Five: Sleepy Snackies

Sooooo my youngest son (he’ll be two in about two months) is teething… again. And he is just as overdramatic as his mother, but even more so when he is teething. Needless to say, I got very little sleep last night.

And I’m not sure if this is common for others or not, but I get soooooooo snackie when I’m tired. And like I have said before, snacking is not “evil”, but I do think that eating when I’m not hungry isn’t part of God’s design for my body.

Well, actually, maybe it is… because what does my body do when I eat when my body doesn’t need food? It stores it… as fat. It’s kind of brilliant actually. If I’m not going to be able to eat for a long time then I might need to eat to store up for the winter (this is just an example by the way… I don’t live in an environment where I might need to do this). And God designed our bodies to be able to survive like this.

But eating when I’m not hungry and when there is an over abundance of food for today, tomorrow, and the foreseeable future isn’t what He designed.

But I think this response is similar to a hunger pang or craving. My body is searching for energy. Oftentimes I get my energy from food. But when I am “starved” of sleep then I “crave” energy. But what I really need is rest.

It’s just like me craving or needing sugar like from a clementine or a pineapple but eating a Snicker’s bar instead. I crave sleep but eat something instead.

So, what I would like to do is to take those three minutes or however long it would have taken me to get or prepare a snack and spend it resting my mind. Like most people, I can’t stop and take a nap whenever I realize that I’m hungry, but that doesn’t mean that I need to eat either. But I can take three minutes (most of the time) to rest my mind.

And not to alienate anyone who might think this is a hippy kind of thing or of some other religion, but this is a time to meditate. To meditate on God.

Here is a verse that I found to be appropriate to the situation even though it’s not about being awake at night (but being sleepy during the day feels similar). But I like how the first verse about thinking and meditating on God leads right into thoughts about God being our helper…

I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night. Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 63:6-7

But honestly as I looked up verses on meditating, most of them are about meditating on the Law. Although I don’t think of this as bringing peace or energy… David mentions it multiple times. And I tend to be surprised at the way the Word works in my soul, so something to think on… maybe even meditating on the Law could be beneficial during those times.

But, hopefully, the blessing of sleep filled nights will be on all of us!

Day Sixteen: I Eat. I Eat. I Eat.

I eat when I’m bored. I eat when I’m curious. I eat when I’m emotional. I eat when I’m tired. I eat when I’m simply around food.

I eat. I eat. I eat.

Notice how I did not say I eat when I’m hungry. Aye. There’s the rub. But that is exactly when I should eat. When I’m hungry. Otherwise I’m attempting to satisfy a slew of other needs… entertainment, distraction, comfort, etc.

In doing so I am really railing against the system that God designed in my body. He was the one that put in the craving for food in the design of my body. Craving food does serve a purpose… a God given purpose. I’ve heard that this book, Made To Crave, addresses just that, and so did The Weigh Down Diet.

It is important for me to listen to my cravings… and I’m not just talking about chocolate. I think I “crave” sweet and I almost always default to chocolate, but now that I can’t have it I found myself craving pineapple last night! So I went to the store and got me some pineapple!

It is also important to eat when I am hungry. Again, that is a signal that God put into my body for a reason. I need to eat in order to maintain my body. Eating when I am not hungry though is almost an act of greed. An excessive desire for something. I want it for me even though I don’t need it. Yet God has still given me the choice to eat or not.

“I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial. 1 Corinthians 10:23

I know that eating when I’m not hungry although it might be “allowed”… it is not beneficial.

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

And if I want to truly make God my focus and for eternity to become exaggerated, then I must eat… yes, even simply the act of eating… must be for the glory of God. Even if no one ever knows that I am eating, or not eating as the case may be, for the glory of God… I will know my reasons for eating. He will know my reasons for eating.

On that note: I’m starving and my baked potato is ready! Bon appétit!