Day 410: Overlooking Neglect

On Day 406 I wrote about our blow up pool. Hmmmm, never thought that I’d write about a blow up pool on my blog about covenants and dieting. Ha!

Anyway, that morning before the post went “live”, I was doing my hair and I was wondering what caused the hole to get into the little rainforesty part of the pool (which has since been cut off of the pool cause it got a little too bothersome). I guess it could have been one of the boys jumping on it. Or maybe driving a Hot Wheel across it. Or maybe it was when I was dragging it out of the little shed. Perhaps it was when we left it out back, empty of water, during a huge wind storm and watched it as it flew back and forth through our backyard like a pinball (that was actually kind of fun to watch).

Not sure what did caused the hole, but I do know this. Whatever did it was a result of neglect.

The word neglect immediately makes me think of sad-faced puppies on TV with Sarah McLachlan’s voice hovering around us.

sarah mclachlan dogs 2

But I’m not talking about that level of neglect. I’m talking about a far more dangerous level of neglect: the kind you don’t even realize is happening.

Okay, yes, so watching the pool bounce around the backyard was an obvious neglect.

But a lot of the other things… the basic “use” of the pool… didn’t seem like neglect. When it boils down to it, I didn’t take super awesome good amazing care of the pool, and it got a hole in it.

As I thought through this while I globbed gel on another section of my hair, I was like, “Oh, well, I won’t put this little thought process in my “Patched Up” post because it’s not like me neglecting my pool relates to me and my faith. I mean… it’s not like my faith was struggling because of neglect.”

{Picture me sorta freezing my hands mid curl-twirl as a wave of Holy Spirit goose bumps slid over me while I realized how wrong I was about what I had just said to myself.}

Honestly, that is exactly what had caused my faith to just sorta want to puff out slowly through a little hole. I neglected it. I mean, I went to church for women’s bible study, and I went to Sunday School, and I taught lessons in the youth department, but I was neglecting my own personal study, meditation, and prayer at home. I was neglecting God.

You neglected the Rock who had fathered you; you forgot the God who had given you birth. Deuteronomy 32:18

It was parental neglect… only I was the one neglecting… I neglected My Parent. My Father. My Rock. My Maker. And I had been overlooking it for so. very. long.

Sure, I had little verses here and there, but I was not taking much time for Him. I was too busy. too tired. too busy. too tired. And that led to me being too unmotivated. You know how it is, you skip a day, then another, and then another, and then, well, you’re just so behind… why keep it up? Take a few more days off while you’re at it.

And as much as I hate to say it… I know exactly what happened.

  1. I became a vegetarian after being a meat eater for 33 years, and my vitamin B12 levels got realllllly low (although I didn’t know it at the time).
  2. When my vitamin B12 levels got low, I got realllllllly tired.
  3. When I got reallllllly tired, I didn’t want to wake up early in the morning.
  4. When I didn’t want to wake up early in the morning, then I missed the chance to read or pray in peace and quiet before my sons got up and demanded all my attention.
  5. When I missed the chance to read or pray in peace and quiet before my sons got up, then I never got another chance until bedtime.
  6. When I didn’t get a chance until bedtime to read and pray, then I would fall asleep on my bible because my vitamin B12 levels were low.
  7. Rinse, and repeat.

So, like I said on Day 406, I was still getting in little snippits of God, but I wasn’t following the example of Christ and going up on the mountain away from everyone else to take an extended amount of time to focus on My Lord and what He wanted to say to me.

Essentially, if we jump back to the pool = faith analogy, and my pool got a hole in it that needed a patch = my faith got a hole in it that needed a patch. So, God = the patch for my faith. And before going to God, I kept having to blow up that dadgum faith pool because the patch wasn’t sticking. Well, it’s just like any patch… you have to give it enough TIME to stick. If you fill the pool back up with water before the patch is ready then it’ll just float on off.

And that’s what I have been doing for months. Going to God for only a few moments a day when I need to be going away to find Him and seek Him and allow Him plenty of time to apply a patch to my ever deflating faith, so that He could breathe in His Spirit. But now I know how to keep my faith aired up. Not that I won’t do the exact same thing again, but I can alsways remember…

The Lord is faithful; he will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one. 2 Thessalonians 3:3

Day 341: Mustard Seed Miracle

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Okay, so a couple of days ago I posted about my mom and my B12 levels.

I’m not lying, nor am I being overdramatic (at least not on purpose) when I say that I felt like a new woman. I have felt refreshed. clear. happy. rested. optimistic. energetic. And all of that with a few “user error” issues having only slept about four hours last night and through a few bouts of grieving. I can’t really explain how surprised I was at just two days of being “on” the stuff!

When I posted about it on day 339, I only really covered the story between me, my mother, and the B12. But I started to see a parallel recently… and I’ll do one of those annoying analogies for ya so all that SAT practice will pay off finally! Haha!

    B12 : Body :: Power Of God : Soul
    B12 is a boost of energy for my body just like the Power of God is a boost of energy for my soul.

This time last year, I was crushed and defeated. My energy for life was just… depleted. I could feel my hope wavering and was starting to just resign myself to the fact that my life was going to be… average.

Then, I had my cookie dough “experience” and subsequently found the power of God.

As I turn to Him and believe in His Power… I feel my life and my soul being rejuvenated. And it was so quick… I mean… it was like I had been almost blind to the fact that I could tap into that power my whole life. (Heck, at times, I’m still blind to it.) And when thinking of what verse might “support” the fact that God has power (haha… yeah, I know… just ONE verse… I had to narrow it down from like, oh, I dunno… THE WHOLE BIBLE) but I was reminded of this one statement that Jesus made to his disciples when they asked Him to help them increase their faith:

If you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, ‘May you be uprooted and thrown into the sea,’ and it would obey you! Luke 17:6

That verse just reminded me… how awesome God is that He can do AMAZING and POWERFUL things with my itty bitty teensy weensy faith. And that’s just what He’s done this year… amazing and powerful things in my life with my tiny bit of faith. Just like that B12 pill is so little… but it worked what feels like a mini-miracle in my life. And that mustard seed of faith… it worked a miracle in my life as well.