Day Eighty-Nine: Rock Bottom Rememberings

One of the things that has immediately become a “struggle” for me is wanting to take the credit for the weight loss that I have had so far. Even writing that makes me want to laugh at myself because I remember where I was before all this… and lemme tell ya… I was in the land of UNable!

I know that I have mentioned my cookie dough… experience… multiple times but that was really just rock bottom for me. Before that, there had been years of smaller bits of resolve, struggle, eventual failure, and then a tumbling into eating anything and everything… and with every bite reminding myself: YOU CAN’T DO IT. YOU ARE A FAILURE.

But ya know, I was so right. And when I am tempted now to think that my new found control is mine, all I need to do is remember the cookie dough day, the apple crisp struggle, or even any of the many “pre-covenant” uncatalogued lost battles with Oreos, Girl Scout Cookies, tortilla lime chips, the countless bowls of brownie batter followed by the pan of baked brownies, chocolate chip cookies, breadsticks, cheese tortellinis, etc. etc. etc.

And so when the pride of success begins to seep in, all I need to do is remember those days of spiraling out of control. And just this week I stumbled across this oh-so-perfect verse as I read my daily reading plan that addresses this just so perfectly…

We don’t have the right to claim that we have done anything on our own. God gives us what it takes to do all we do. 2 Corinthians 3:5

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