Soooooo, I feel sorta like I should apologize for publicly sharing my pity party the other night.
And part of me feels like it is just what I should have published.
I guess I feel sorry because I was being negative and, seriously, who really needs negativity these days? And the part of me that is like “No, it was right” thinks that because I was being honest and real… and sometimes we just need to know that someone else is feeling that way as well.
But, I’m happy to report that “weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.” Psalm 30:5
Cause I woke up this morning and everything was… okay. Not amazing, but okay. I mean, after all, I still had the same muffin top that I’d had the night before, but there was just renewed perspective and hope this morning.
I went to church and that really sent me on the right path… it was so nice just to be around people who care so little about my muffin top and to have the whole morning be about how much God loves us in any state that we are in.
Then I came home, got my boys to nap and “room time” and… wait for it… I took a nap myself. I was exhausted from being up all night having my pity party and then having to finish up my lesson for this morning. And… well, I’ve been really exploring the concept of honoring the sabbath. Ya know, it’s like… a commandment and all. I just recently wrote this post about it on a blog that I guest post for.
And can I just say that as I write this (on Sunday evening) that the weather is actually nice enough for us to be outside, and my two sons are playing NICELY with each other on the slide… it’s kind of idyllic. I mean… what is a muffin top when compared to this? I’m just feeling extremely content and definitely refocused today.
There is definitely some learning that came out of my pity party last night though:
- It has been a while since I have been royally depressed like that about my weight/size. I attribute this a lot to having tossed the scale on Day 118 a long time ago… one of the best decisions that I have made during this whole experience.
- It also may have been the little kick in the emotional rear-end for me to get rid of a couple more strongholds: e.g. honey. I think I’ll write about honey later, because it’s a tricky little guy, but anyway… honey is on the outsies with me right now.
- I can be a little teensy weensy over dramatic sometimes. Cause, honestly, I went in this afternoon and tried on my trade-show pants (which I hadn’t tried on since Day 363 right after I stopped eating bread for the year) and they fit pretty dern good. No, they weren’t exactly the same as they were in June but I had relatively no muffin top. But I sent myself on this tear last night about my pants not fitting when it wasn’t even the case!!!
But all in all, I am reminded even now about a verse that has been coming to mind a lot… such a simple verse. a verse that most of us have heard a gazillion times and so oftentimes we sorta zone it out and nod our heads like good Christians. But, let’s take a moment to pay a smidge more attention to it today…
Be still, and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10
Nice, isn’t it? Being told to just be still. Being told to stop worrying. Being told that Someone Else has it all under control?
I can be still because God will help me work through any issues with my weight.
I can be still because God will help me work through any issues with eating honey.
I can be still because God will help me work through any issues with overdramatics.
I can be still because I know that He is God.
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