Day 9 of my hard-core Daniel Fast.
I found myself dreaming of a size six this morning.
I know… I know… this is all about a focus on God, but I’m just being honest… I found myself laying in bed, thinking of wearing a size six. It’s so the same as someone laying in bed dreaming of being 20 pounds lighter. Only… that person probably has a scale. You might remember, that I do not have a scale. I do not weigh myself anymore. I don’t even think about weight numbers anymore… I forget that “weight” even exists until someone asks me how much I have lost… it is a wonderful thing to forget!
Unfortunately, my clothes are all tagged with a little number that tells me my clothing size.
And although it is not as tempting to dwell upon that size, it is still there. To daunt me. To mock me. To frustrate me.
I find myself currently at a very comfortable size 10 and I have a few things here and there that are a size 8 that fit me well. But I have been a size eight before, and so I know that my body can, and by December, probably will be a size 8 again. But a six… I mean, I’m not sure if I can wear a six! It’s so… unknown. It’s so… well, it’s so much skinnier! (Again, I’m not saying this is a healthy train of thought, but it is my train of thought).
And so I found myself dreaming of wearing a size six and being truly, truly thin.
And it’s because of this Daniel Fast.
Ha – so ironic that the thing that should refocus me on God has it’s little built in distractions. (That would be because Satan is alive and well… in addition to being much hated by me). But nonetheless, I take this moment to remember “that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28 And remembering that… I believe that I will allow Satan to be thwarted once again in my life… and that I will stop dreaming of a size six bod and instead start dreaming about being a size six Christian.
What on earth does that mean? Well, nothing really on earth… but in heaven, it means that I will be ridding myself of the soul-fat… the stuff that holds me back, that entangles me. I will dream of being more Christlike. I will dream of helping orphans. of adopting my own. I will dream of visiting widows every day. I will dream of meditating on the grace of Christ for an hour. I will dream of helping a friend who has lost her job and has three children with no father around. I will dream of keeping my mouth shut in and effort to speak with grace and humility. I will dream of all these things of eternity… I will dream of my Christian soul being a beautiful size six… and I will dream of my Redeemer looking upon me with Love in His eyes.
Now THAT is a dream worth having!
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