What a journey.
Ya know, I truly thought back a few months ago that this covenant was gonna be a piece of cake for the rest of the year. Although, don’t get me wrong… not eating sugar is easy at this point. I’m not saying that if the covenant ended tomorrow that I’d stay away from sugar on my own accord but having covenanted with God to abstain from sugar from day one, it has become easy. It’s just not an option and hasn’t been an option since day one.
But that bread…
that dad. gum. bread.
And I’m not mad at the bread… not really. I mean, why be mad at bread? It’s so… good. It’s not the bread’s fault that it is so dad. gum. good.
But I tell ya… I could have knocked out the other half of that loaf of homemade bread all by myself if it weren’t for the fact that my husband ate some too.
But even then… like I said, it’s more than just the bread here people. It’s my heart.
And it was that same old evil Devil whispering in my ear again. “You’re so tired. Eat. It’ll fill your belly up and then you will sleep well. It’s not a normal situation… normally you wouldn’t do this, but for tonight January it’s okay… you’re so tired. Even you have said that you feel the need to eat when you’re tired. So, just go ahead and have one slice of bread since you’re tired. And tomorrow you will be rested and it won’t happen again… just eat… just a little… just for tonight.”
But any of us that are habitual overeaters know that it is never “just a little… just for tonight.” It always makes a piece of me… break. That resolve. that will power. that determination to eat just enough and just what is good and right… one night of disobedience hurts me more than I anticipate and more than I like to admit.
As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness. Proverbs 26:11
Okay, so I’m a fool returning to my foolishness. And it is as disgusting to me as a dog eating it’s own puke. Okay… maybe not that disgusting.
maybe it should be.
Maybe that’s my problem. Maybe I’m not thoroughly disgusted by this sin of gluttony.
But how does one learn to be disgusted by sin?
Ya know, I’m afraid I don’t have the answer to that yet. I think it’ll take a bit of prayer and bible searching. Feel free to do those two things with me. (Or I’d you already know the answer and matching biblical reference, feel freeeeeee to share!