Okay. So this is all just weird.
It feels like I’m starting completely over.
I mean, like, doing things like having to hold my hand back (almost literally) from my son’s bag of goldfish crackers.
Forcing myself to fill up a glass of water instead of making myself a bowl of granola (with peanut butter. and raisins. and honey.)
Doing an extra search through the pantry to see if there just might be something in there other than raisins and peanuts to eat so that I can avoid eating fruit or something generally healthy.
I mean, I thought that girl was gone. Totally gone. No longer a part of me. But there she was… just below the surface. And Satan was waiting oh so patiently to set her loose. All it took was a few weeks of biblelessness and prayerlessness and I was ready for a visit from my old self.
And I see now what a fragile balance this will be. I see why people say “once an addict, always an addict…”. But like I said the other day, I am glad that I am not finished. And it is such a relief to know that I won’t be finished until the day Jesus comes back!!!
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within me, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Philippians 1:6
So I’ll just keep doing my thang. letting Jesus work on me. letting God work on finishing me. Takes a little pressure off to be all new and shiny and perfect… reminds me that Jesus is the one to be all those things in me.