Day 132: A Celebration Of Life

So today is my youngest son’s two year old birthday! We had his party last night and listen to the menu I so brilliantly came up with and see what you think I could eat:

hot dogs, chips, cupcakes, ice cream

Yeah, none of it.

I almost feel like a hypocrite changing all my ways and then feeding everyone else the same blech stuff that I am avoiding! But all of that to say, I just didn’t eat any of it. I had grapes, peanuts, a banana, and a glass of tea. I was fine. Which is just so weird and yet cool at the same time to be able to say.

I mean, last year for his one-year birthday party we got the same cupcakes from Sam’s only they had Elmo “rings” on them as toppers instead of Cars 2 toppers like they had this year. And last year over a span of a few days, I ate… ohhhhh, I dunno… about a dozen of them that were left over.

A dozen cupcakes people.

About a month before had been my sister-in-law’s wedding shower and guess what we had there? Oh, yes… cupcakes. And I think that I had eaten about a dozen of them as well. And take a wild guess as to what we had at my older son’s birthday party just a few months later? Oh my gosh… you’re good.

Yep. Cupcakes.

And yep. There were leftovers. (Emphasis on the word: were since I ate all the leftover cupcakes.)

So that’s why I say it is weird to think that for this cupcake birthday, I ate… none… of the birthday food.

And what’s even weirder and even cooler is that it wasn’t difficult for me. There was no battle inside. There was not a sneaking into the bathroom to shove a cupcake down my throat. There was just… a birthday. A celebration of my son’s life.

And silently… all by myself… hidden away in a party room in my soul… I had another celebration. A celebration of my new life.

My new life of freedom.

So let us celebrate the festival, not with the old bread of wickedness and evil, but with the new bread of sincerity and truth. 1 Corinthians 5:8

Day 131: We All Need A Job

I love having “nicknames” for my friends that are doing the covenant… ya know, so that I don’t have to worry about them being embarrassed about stories I tell about them, or letting the cat out of the bag if they are “secret-fasting”, or whatever.

You have heard me talk about my friend “Christy” several times… ya know, my spiritual, emotional, and personality clone? Ya know what’s funny… we went to high school together, came up in the same church together, and I remember thinking she was cool and funny but that was sorta… it. For some reason we never really became good friends. Well, after doing a bible study with her at church I very quickly decided she needed to be my friend! (And I think she is one of those “magnetic” type of people that has like 500 people list her as one of their best friends while she would only write down four or five names of her best friends.) But nonetheless, she is certainly on my top 5 list whether I’m on hers or not! Haha!

And I say all of that to give you a little background to understand that I deeply care for my friend Christy… I’m truly elated when she has success, I’m entertained when she has some crazy hilarity in her life, and I am pained when she has sadness or struggle.

And, well, lately she has just had… struggle.

And so, well, lately I have just been pained for her.

So the other day I was praying for her and I got this overwhelming sense of Satan attacking her and then of future blessings for her. Now I know that might seem ridiculous… we all have times in our lives marked out by blessing and times marked out by sadness and struggle. But nonetheless, it was so strong that I stopped chopping the celery I was working on, and I put both hands on the island to rest under the weight of this… this… impression put on me that was nothing short of supernatural.

At this point I’m sure some of you might be wondering why in the world I am telling you all of this. You might be thinking, “Oops, January accidentally put a post up on her covenant blog that was supposed to go somewhere else!” (Now… don’t put that past me… it wouldn’t surprise me as flighty as I can be some times.) But here comes the covenant part!

Ya see, Christy is doing a covenant. And Christy is being attacked. And Satan is trying to bring her down. I told her soon after she started having troubles with being sick, “Oh no- I tell ya what, I shoulda warned everyone… number one guarantee when going on the covenant: Satan WILL attack your health.

And I think that she is a big ol target of Satan’s… cause ya see, Christy is a very vocal woman of God. She loves to talk about God in a real way. In the kind of a way that cuts down to the marrow of your soul and makes you face who Jesus really is. And Christy, during and after this covenant, could do some major damage to Satan’s goals.

So to say that she is having spiritual warfare… honestly, after that wave of Revelation from God… well, I’m afraid calling it “spiritual warfare” doesn’t quite cover what I think is going on.

I think “Christy” is having a Job-attack. (Job as in the guy from the Bible… not the word for occupation.) Has her house fallen in on her entire family? No. Has all of her money and money-making ability been stripped from her? No. Has she been plagued by life-altering illness? Okay, well, yes a little bit of that one.

Here’s why I compare her to Job. I think she is under direct attack by Satan. I don’t think any of his minions are working on her. I think it’s the big dog himself. And he is working in a far more devious way than he did with Job. He is working subtly. quietly. slowly. trying to eat away at her joy. her peace. her love. her resolve.

He is working to make Christy feel… defeated.

And I think there is nothing more devastating to us than feeling defeated. It sucks our life away. It strips us of our joy. our love. our hope. And this just just what Satan was going for when he attacked Job. And I think that’s what he’s going for by attacking Christy.

But here, too, is where I think Christy is like Job. You see, Job, at the core… was stubbornly obedient to God. I’m sure that theologians have come up with a gazillion reasons as to why Job was able to resist cursing God, but ultimately it doesn’t matter: the guy stuck by God. And well, my friend Christy certainly has a bit of a stubborn streak in her as well… and I think it will pay off for her in this: Christy is stubbornly obedient to God. I mean… the girl won’t bend. she won’t break. she is going to obey God.

So… Satan, you might as well give up. Cause you gonna lose this one just like ya lost the one with Job.

And then, God is going to bless Christy. Abundantly.

And so I guess this is a word of encouragement ultimately… for Christy and for anyone else that feels the secret, silent, stealthy, sneaky assault of Satan. But ya gotta have a bit of a Job in ya. A bit of Christy in ya.

Ya gotta be stubborn. Ya gotta wag your finger in Satan’s face and say, “No flippin way. God is mine and I am His. I will follow Him. So, in the name of Jesus Christ… go away.”

Because at the end… Job got to chat with God, and God gave Job a one-on-one lesson in Who He Is. And I love Job’s response:

I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes. Job 42:5

So here is my prayer for you Christy and for all of your comrades…

God, I pray that Christy would have the same level of integrity that Job had and that you would double her blessings as you did with Job. God, please give her strength to endure Satan’s attacks and to look to You so that she will have the chance to say, I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes. In The Name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Day 130: Nit Gonna Get Me Down

Over the past day my oldest has been scratching his head a lot. I thought it was because of a recent change in shampoo and decided to give both he and his brother a good ol Head N Shoulders washing.

And then I went to check the scalp on my youngest to make sure it was squeaky clean and noticed these itty bitty brown dots on his scalp.

My stomach flip flopped. Oh please Lord, let that be something he got caught in his hair playing outside and not lice.

Apparently though you have to pray that prayer way before they even get it. Haha! Cause lice they were… well, a bunch of those little nits that turn into lice. So I sent my husband out to the pharmacy to pick up that RID stuff (which, for the record, smells exactly the same as it did when I had lice in fourth grade).

I looked through the hair on my oldest and he looked clean but I decided to treat him anyway. Good thing- he had more than his brother.

All of that to say, after four hours of scrubbing, rinsing, gelling, picking, combing, gelling again, picking again, and combing again, then washing again… both of my boys were deloused.

And I don’t know if you have seen a pic of my curly fro, but getting lice would be catastrophic for me, so I thought y’all would get a kick out of how I attempted to “protect” my scalp while I was working away on the boys and their little friends…

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Now. That is gross information for someone getting on this blog… haha, maybe it will keep you from wanting to eat though for a bit!!!

But I bring it up to say that delousing a toddler and a four year old is a rather stressful event… especially since you have to do it well or else you’ll just be in the same boat again the next week. There I was delousing and feeling all sorts of tense and then I had a cool moment… I realized that I had not even thought of chocolate. or sugar. or bread. okay, I did think about eating a saltine.

A saltine?

Yes. A saltine.

Why would you be tempted to eat a saltine???

My toddler loves them and he was snacking on them while I picked at his head like momma orangutang. And when I passed the little stack of them I was about .5 seconds away from popping one on in my gullet.

Annnnnnnd ya know what stopped me? The covenant.

I am so glad that I “upgraded” the covenant to include cutting out bread and chips… and yeah I know a cracker isn’t a chip, but yeah… it might as well be. As I reached out to snag one, my brain said, “Hey Jan… covenant. Upgraded covenant. No chips.” And I put it back and that was that. I returned to my ever glamorous life of delousing children.

And I know that I have mentioned this verse a lot lately, but I just have to bring it up again. I think maybe God is in the process of writing it on my heart. deeeeeeeeep on my heart. Haha!

O Lord, God of Israel, there is no God like you in all of heaven and earth. You keep your covenant and show unfailing love to all who walk before you in wholehearted devotion. 2 Chronicles 6:14

But also this one… I had to have strength to resist the saltine (haha- that even sounds funny to me, but, eh, such is an addiction to food. All of it qualifies)! And that strength comes from God- and out of my love for God.

And now that I look at this one, I’m liking it just as much as the previous verse:

Now all glory to God, who is able to make you strong. Romans 16:25

Cause that’s where it comes from! My strength comes from God. There is no other way to explain it.

Yep. Even that saltine. those dad gum lice. that bully Satan. They’re “nit” gonna get me down. Haha! Gotta love the malapropisms!!!

Day 129: Tea Time

My friend Christy and I were talking about why we would eat at night a lot was because it was like after we got our kids down to bed that was “our time” and part of that involved “treating” ourselves. Honestly, I still have to fight the urge at this time. I used eating after the boys were in bed as a “stall” technique. It was the only way that my husband wouldn’t ask me or expect me to fold the laundry or pay the bills or whatever. If I was sitting there eating… whatever… then he couldn’t ask, or at least he didn’t ask.

Now, I turn to iced tea as my “luxury” item in the evenings. I mean, I know that it’s not a luxury item compared to some of the stuff I used to eat, but in a way it is. I mean, iced tea represents relaxation in the south… sittin outside with my feet up drinking a glass of fresh brewed (okay, okay, fresh brewed to a mom of a toddler means that it was fresh brewed today) well, that’s just luxury. decadence. relaxation. comfort.

And it doesn’t involve a single bite of chocolate.

The other night, even though by the time I had finished getting the boys in bed it was dark outside, I decided that I wanted to get myself a glass of tea and sit out on the patio and look up at the big beautiful sky as it slid from dusk into darkness. So, I sat out there and gazed up at Venus and took several deep breaths and “found” myself again… well at least until every gnat in a five mile radius descended upon me. Ha!

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Part of me (that would like to be June Cleaver… well, it’s a very smalllllll part of me) would like to say that I came right on in and got down to work folding the huge basket of laundry that I had to do, but the other part of me (that loves being January Rowe) came in and went. straight. to. sleep. Haha! Well, honestly, I have already learned that it is more difficult to fight off hunger when I am tired, sooooo I just don’t let myself get THAT tired if I can help it (note: if I can help it… I have a four year old that is going through his nightly “I’m scared” phase and a two-year old that is getting in, what I call, his vamp teeth (the sharp pointy vampire looking teeth… so sometimes I can’t keep the exhaustion away… those are “survival” days).

Really… maybe we as a society don’t take enough moments of rest. I am more “me” when I do take time to rest…

Let my soul be at rest again, for the LORD has been good to me. Psalm 116:7

Day 128: Like White On Rice

Lately I have come up against some tough days with the covenant… like, my life hasn’t been tough but there is this little wormy Satan trying to burrow his way into my love for God. It is truly a spiritual battle… and it has begun to take it’s toll.

I have started to really get into bookmarking verses that I come across in my daily reading for “such a time” that I will need them and they have all, one by one, been used to help me resist the flames of the evil one. And here are a few that are of great encouragement to me…

I cried out, “I am slipping!” but your unfailing love, O LORD, supported me. When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer. Psalm 94:18-19

Then the Spirit of God came upon Azariah son of Oded, and he went out to meet King Asa as he was returning from the battle. “Listen to me, Asa!” he shouted. “Listen, all you people of Judah and Benjamin! The LORD will stay with you as long as you stay with him! Whenever you seek him, you will find him. But if you abandon him, he will abandon you. 2 Chronicles 15:1-2

And this one recently has just grabbed my heart…

“O LORD, God of Israel, there is no God like you in all of heaven and earth. You keep your covenant and show unfailing love to all who walk before you in wholehearted devotion. 2 Chronicles 6:14

It’s not just “nice to know” that God will stick by his covenant with me… it’s more than just “neat” to feel His unfailing love… it’s necessary. His dedication to me… His love for me… they keep me going. I can wake up every day and no matter what that day holds for me… I know that God Almighty, Creator of the Universe, Lord of All… He will stick by me like white on rice.

And He is stuck to me. Even now I sense Him… and I sense my inability to separate myself from Him (not that I want to).

Best. rice. ever.

Day 127: Props To My Peeps

Today I went over to my friend Amanda’s* house for lunch and a play date for our kids. She was just… an awesome hostess! Her momma definitely trained her up right!!!

Our kids are almost the same ages and she has an extremely kid-friendly house… it was truly relaxing and enjoyable to just sit and chat. And lucky for me, Amanda has been reading my blog lately so she knew my… “restrictions”. But double lucky for me… nah, I’m gonna call this a blessing… she made sure that all of the food met my “diet”. Even the newest no-bread and no-chips. It was just soooo considerate! And it made me feel refreshed. honored. special. worthy.

I don’t know why it made me feel all of those things, but it did. That is a good friend.

A lot of people, well at least at the beginning of my covenant before I had lost weight, were like “Girl, you crazy” or “I could never give up meat.” And I totally understood their sentiments… heck, days before I had been saying the exact same things. But all the same, it was kind of… I dunno… demoralizing. So when I have a friend treat my covenant as special, it just sort of builds me up!

And while I’m at it I really need to thank my family as well… my mom always makes sure that there are plenty of yummy options for me… and again, it feels like support and… blessing… when someone does that. My husband brought home that Olive Garden meal for me and made sure to get me shrimp so that I could eat all of it. Just a… blessing.

So, I wanted to take a moment and thank my friends and family for being… a blessing to me.

And I’m going to cite this version (The Message) of this verse because I love how the ending of it describes exactly how I feel about my sweet friendships and my sweet family (although the beginning of the verse is kinda oogie sounding, I’ll admit)…

Just as lotions and fragrance give sensual delight, a sweet friendship refreshes the soul. Proverbs 27:9

*Nope… not her real name either. It’s kind of fun to change names… like writing “secret” notes in junior high!

Day 126: Evil Eats

So more and more I discover another friend is doing the covenant and every time I hear that I get excited for them… for the possibilities of what God can do in them.

At first I was a little… bummed… that a lot of these people were doing the covenant and yet they didn’t want anyone to know. I guess, in a weird way, I took it the wrong way… I took it along the lines of it was them saying that they didn’t really like it, or they didn’t really think it was a good idea, or whatever.

I know some people wanted their “silence” to be along the lines of a secret fasting like the bible encourages.

But some people didn’t have that as a reason to not tell. Then the more I thought about how I felt about it at first, I kind of realized that it could be that people weren’t ashamed of me or my idea… they were ashamed of themselves.

Again, not everyone has the same motivations for doing the covenant. I think some are into it because they want to covenant with God to honor their bodies… the weight loss and/or breaking food addictions is not their priority.

But for the people that are addicted or feeling like they want to lose weight, then they might feel that doing a covenant like this implies that they have lost control and need God’s help over some area of their life.

And, well, a lot of us don’t particularly like to admit that we need help. Not from friends. Not from family. And certainly not from God.

And then this chunk of verses got my attention:

In the past you were slaves to sin, and goodness did not control you. You did evil things, and now you are ashamed of them. Those things only bring death. But now you are free from sin and have become slaves of God. This brings you a life that is only for God, and this gives you life forever. The payment for sin is death. But God gives us the free gift of life forever in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:20-23

I know that we don’t often think of eating too much as being “evil” but really when you think about it, God views everything as “right” or “wrong”…… “good” or “evil”. I looked up “evil”, I noticed it’s antonym (cut me some slack… I’m a former English teacher… annnnnnnd a bit of a nerd. I kind of like definitions and whatnot)…

It’s the opposite of righteous.

And dishonoring this body that God has given me… well, that’s definitely not what I would call righteous… therefore, it is evil. And really when I look back and some of the ways that I have treated this body He has given me… well… it was just pure evil. Satan had a hold on me that was fierce and the little bugger was working hard to keep me weighed down… both literally and spiritually. The way I was treating my body is just like the verse above says, “Those things only bring death.”

Not saying that eating right will give me eternal life… heck no. Only my Jesus will give me that. There are some people that eat well their entire lives and die of cancer at 37. And there are people that eat heinously and live to see 97. But I know that God has made rules and guidelines for a reason… self-control does lend itself to so many things that can help a body live longer… and I want to live a long time. If He has implied that I can live longer if I live with self-control and peace, then by golly, sign me up.

Day 125: Uh Oh…

Haha – well, I knew what I wanted to title this already but I just sorta started to think that someone might look at just the title in their inbox and think, “Oh, poor January, she musta broken her covenant again. Bless her heart.” (Which, I’m a southern woman… “Bless her heart” never means that for real, it means, “Oh thank heavens someone has messed up so I can feel better about myself!” haha)

But, it’s not so much about that at all (Thank Ya Jesus!) but about a friend of mine that called a couple of days ago (whom I have yet to call back because I’m a crazy woman with crazy kids that can’t seem to be quiet long enough for me to make a phone call and when they are sleeping, I have to be quiet so that they can sleep, y’all know the drill… even if you don’t have kids then you probably have some crazy sister-in-law or cousin who has young kids… we tend to be pretty crazy protective of the nap time!!!). She recently started the covenant and called saying that she was a little freaked out because she had gained four pounds.

So I’m going to write my friend Rhonda a post in response to her call… sorta kill two birds with one stone, ya know? Plus, I had another friend, Christy, who had the exact same thing happen to her.

First of all, I don’t know! haha! I had no idea that I would lose weight myself so quickly. I had no idea if I would lose weight at all… I just hoped that I would.

GET OFF TOSS THE SCALE: So, really, my first thing would be to say that it cannot be about the weight. If I have learned anything through this process, it is to not weigh. Allow your clothes not fitting to be your only guide if you have to have a guide… as difficult as that may be. We just need to forget all of this weight stuff… these arbitrary numbers. This body of ours that God has designed is infinitely complex and it responds to eating, not eating, changing diets, etc. exactly as it should. So, if you know that you are eating foods that honor God and only eating until you are satisfied/no longer hungry, then just turn your focus to Him. Which leads me to my next point…

FOCUS ON HIM: I think that the best part of the covenant so far as been how much it has forced me to read the Word of God. I mean, like I have said, I have been reading through the bible since October but this has taken it to a whole new level because I am relying on the Word to save me (in a non-get-salvation-go-to-heaven kind of way, of course). When I need some of those things that I turned to food for before (comfort, entertainment, relief, relaxation, etc), now I turn to the Word (well, at least 95% of the time – haha… okay, okay, 92% of the time). And it has been so awesome to see Him sustain me with just the Word. It truly is POWER and it keeps me from overeating or eating when I’m not hungry or eating what I have agreed not to eat… which leads me to my next point as well…

WHAT’S THE PROB: I think it’s important to take a real-honest-to-God look at myself every once in a while and evaluate the way I eat and decide if I think it honors God or not. Most of the time… well, actually, so far… All of the time that I have been gaining or not losing it has been because:

  • I was overeating (eating when I’m not hungry for some “other” reason that wasn’t hunger and/or eating when I am already full) or because
  • I was eating too many processed or “easy” foods (i.e. bread, tortillas, peanuts, cheese) instead of foods that would really honor God because they are beneficial for my body (i.e. fruits and vegetables).

In fact, this has been really good for me to write about because I have been going through a similar “Why am I not losing?” kind of phase. I think that knocking out the bread and chips will help me out in that area because they were becoming an all-too-frequent “go to” but I also think that I’m going to come up with a new rule for myself… if I am hungry and it’s not a meal (like it’s snack time) then I can eat fruit. I still don’t tend to “default” to fruit even though it completely rox my sox and I really have gotten to the point where I love it…

  1. I just need to have it around all the time so I need to be more diligent about getting to the store… the same way I am about whole milk for my toddler I need to be about fruit for me… if we are out then I need to get my bootie to the store and load up, and
  2. I need to help renew my mind so that it defaults to fruit. I have gotten my mind to “default” to the Word to sustain me and now I need to retrain this “go to” into a fruit thang.

Okay, Rhonda, again… sorry for not calling back but turns out it was really good for ME to have to sit down and sort of hash this out! Haha! And well, it IS all about me, right?!!? Haha! Either way, this post is for you!!!

Update: Rhonda texted me a couple days after this post to let me know that she had lost 7 pounds but was gonna stay off the scale for the next month and a half! Blessings and peace to Rhonda!

Day 124: All Good

So, I just started this whole no bread and no chips “addition” to the covenant, and I thought that I’d talk about the first time the new rule made an issue… or was a learning moment for me.

Even though I posted about modifying the covenant a few days ago, it was actually on Sunday that I had the “revelation”… or at least that was the day that I made the decision. Well, my first thought was, “Oh, well, we are going to Texas Roadhouse for my brother’s dinner tonight and they have some wicked awesome rolls, so I think that I will wait until tomorrow to start the whole ” no bread” thing.”

And, thanks to the renewing… or at least to the process of renewing since I am by no means completely renewed yet… I immediately had the thought: “Oh, Come on, January! This is a deal with God. There is no waiting to follow the call of GOD ALMIGHTY just because you’d like to eat some BREAD at a restaurant!?!?!”

And I am reminded of Jonah… he very clearly heard the Word of God, and then… he did the opposite. Because that is what Jonah wanted to do. Just like me, I wanted to go out and eat bread even though I had clearly heard God tell me to do the opposite.

One day the Lord told Jonah, the son of Amittai, to go to the great city of Nineveh and say to the people, “The Lord has seen your terrible sins. You are doomed!” Instead, Jonah ran from the Lord. Jonah 1:1-3

Lucky for me, I have people like Jonah in the bible who didn’t listen to God… so I get to see that things don’t turn out so hot for those who disobey God and then I don’t have to make the same mistake. (Although, golly, how many times do I pull a “Jonah” and do the wrong thing anyway???) But, for once, and thanks to the renewing of my mind that has been going on for the past, ohhhhhhh, 123 days… I was able to make the right decision.

And there was one point at dinner when there was one roll left and my brother said, “Hey Jan, do you want that?” And I was able to say, “Nah, I’m all good.”

And I am…

…all good.

Thanks to God, I am alllllllllll gooooooood.

Day 123: Leftover Love

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So, I have two kids. One is almost five and the other will be two next Monday. So, food is a pretty constant thought for me during the day. Trying to get them to eat. Trying to figure out what they want to eat. Making them a second meal because they didn’t like the first (yes, I do this occasionally… don’t judge… my eldest boy was at the 4th percentile for weight one year… a mom never really recovers from that). Tracking what they ate the day before and the day before and the day before. Planning what they will eat for the next meal. And… cleaning up after they are “finished”.

Well, I may be “that mom” who makes my kids their own meal cause they don’t like ratatouille, and well, I am also “that mom” who doesn’t make them finish what is on their plate. Partially because my oldest has had this, like, extra awareness of his “full” button. When he was younger we would try to get him to eat more after he said he was finished and if we did, he always threw up. So, I gave up on that and he’s been fine ever since. And then when I read WeighDown I understood a bit more about the hunger mechanism that God has built into us and I decided that I would allow my kids to choose as much as possible what they wanted to eat (so that I could help them respond to God-given cravings) and I would allow them to stop eating when they were finished. Sure, a little bit of that had to do with the nutritionists saying “don’t eat everything on your plate”, but it was more because I wanted them to get a lot of practice at feeling when they are full and stopping.

And surprisingly this is not a post on “how to help your kids eat the way God intended”. Quite the opposite. I have yet to figure out how to teach them the importance of an orange or raisins or whatever. Keepin it real… my kids eat pop tarts. donuts. toaster strudels. jelly beans. etc. I mean, that’s not all they eat, but they are by no means on this covenant with me. Which is what leads to my REAL topic for this post.

Their leftovers.

Honestly, I don’t think that I’m the only mother out there that would often glean their lunch meal off of what their kids left on their plates. Mere exhaustion along with disdain for the food going to waste was often the motivator that plopped me down at their plates once they were down for naps to dine upon 1/4 of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (with the bread already a bit stale), a few raisins, a couple scoops of applesauce, maybe the remains of a graham cracker.

But I have had to change that habit simply because some of the things that they “leave behind” are things that are not cool on my covenant, plus I’m often “attracted” to them when I’m not hungry. But they are forever leaving a smattering of chips… a few animal crackers… half an Oreo… an entire Little Debbie donut.

And I have to just throw the stuff away.

Ugh, sometimes it kills me to not just shove it in my mouth. I’m still not entirely sure why… but it’s a temptation nonetheless. (Although I will admit that the only thing I will eat leftovers of is avocado chunks… my two year old lovvvvves avocado but sometimes will leave two or three chunks on the plate… yeah, I’m not letting perfectly good avocado go to waste!)

I know that I’m not supposed to eat their leftovers when I’m not hungry and when it’s not on my covenant. And I think that there was a consequence when I tried to take more than what I needed… I was eating some of their leftover chips which were “technically” on my covenant (well, before I modified the covenant the other day to put them on the “no no” list). And that was during that time that I felt wrong. icky. sad. depressed. off.

And I think that this ties in with what some of the Israelites did with the manna…

Then Moses told them, “Do not keep any of it until morning.” But some of them didn’t listen and kept some of it until morning. But by then it was full of maggots and had a terrible smell. Exodus 16:19-20

Only instead of the food bearing the grossness… I had the feel of maggots inside me. So, honestly, I think that it’s worth not eating some leftovers, no matter how much I might love them, to avoid feeling like their are maggots in my soul.

Yeah, no contest on that one!